The Lord has been faithful to make the gospel so personal to me (answered prayer number one). I asked Him "what exactly am I free from? Show me not only my flesh but the absolute root of it. " boy was he faithful to reveal that prideful stuff. The world has deceived me but the TRUTH has set me free.
The world tells me I have to earn everything, right down to the needs only God can meet: love, acceptance, worth/significance, security. I have been told all my life that I can meet those needs through spelling love P-r-a-i-s-e, through earning acceptance by doing nice things (but really, how many nice things are enough nice things) through finding significance in the praise of others and security in my own ability to be strong and control (ummm BIG HUGE LIE: I really am NOT in control even if I feel like it) I have bought into the lie that "I can do it" and it had built up as a stronghold in my life. It's like that little lie lives in a fortress, made stronger by my thinking that all things in my life I deserved because of what I did, how well I performed. But anything not done in faith is sin and my righteous "good" acts are like filthy rags.
So what is pride? It's you being your own God, thinking I don't need God. It's you (and definitely me too) thinking I am capable of meeting my God-given needs, which only GOD can meet, MY way! Who am I to think I can do His job?
And isn't that the original lie? In the garden, Satan told them that they would have knowledge of Good and Evil and they would be AS GOD. Their own God. What a crock that turned out to be!!!! Adam and Eve bought into a lie and were deceived, but all along God had a plan.
And God has a plan for all of us! The Lord has faithfully brought me to a point and I could fill up 100 virtual pages of the details of how he has revealed how so often I try to find life elsewhere. But guess what- there's no life there! And I am humbled.
There is LIFE in the PRESENSE of the LIVING GOD and nowhere else. Being in this bubble for 6 weeks has helped me see that and I can only sit and wait to receive more revelation from Father in His timing because I know His presense is a powerful thing. How refreshing to be still and know that He is God. I really dont think it's a bad thing sometimes (mmm maybe even most of the time) to shut up and stop telling Him who he is (since He already knows that) and just BE. Just acknowledge that He is God. He is Here. Especially those moments of conviction or confusion or worry. One version of Psalm 46 says
10 Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!
recognize? understand? Lord please dont let me miss you in the moment! I want more than to acknowledge you: I wanna understand. You are so faithful to lift me from circumstances to see things from your perspective. Thank you that there is no better place than with you, even in the midst of a busy room you are so real. Reveal more God! I trust that you are real and you are living in me so bring revelation knowledge of YOU, the person who loved me and gave himself to pay a great price even while I was still dead in sin, you made me alive in Christ so that you could be with me. That truth is so hard to grasp but I believe it.
I renounce the lie and anything is better than You and joyfully accept the truth that you are the only one who can meet my needs.
I renounce the lie that my worth comes from any source than you because that is idolatry and joyfully joyfully accept the truth that you are eternal, this world and things in it will perish, and I am a partaker of eternal life: Christ's life, and my worth is fully in Him and because you lovingly created me in your very image. I am yours...precious and beloved. Make that a reality to me.
He still speaks!!! The Holy Spirit is our connection- that is one way how God is everywhere- and we communicate spirit to spirit with Him... if you sense a truth in your time of being still and knowing He's God (He's love, He's sovereign, He's true and real) take it on faith that it's him. He has much to say to love on you and to guide you into all truth. That's the Holy spirit's job, not yours! But even if He is silent, His presense is enough. Isn't it good when you are close to someone, when you care about them deeply that silence is ok, in fact even pleasurable and pleasant. Just BEING with that person is enough when you don't have to SAY anything. Sometimes words fall short. Language is so limited but spirit talk- just that heart understanding that is from Father is, well, indescribable. I don't want to miss out. (cool article: http://www.walk-this-way.com/4_keys_virkler.htm one guy's experience)
I am tired of lesser lovers. I am tired of being deceived. Thank you for the full and complete life you offer. Thank you for transforming me. OH I am such a work in progress but I cling to you because knowing you is enough. YOU are enough. You are real. Not a man who walked around 2000 years ago doing cool stuff, but the Jesus who rose to new life and is living today at the right hand of Father and IN Me!!
My mind cant conceive it God but you know I want you! Help me to
recognize
understand
be still.... and KNOW
YOU
are God.