::Being Transformed::: 11 September 2005

real life application

what does it look feel like/look like to be totally dependent upon Christ, welcoming the flow of His life through you in even the little things: well here's a little email conversation between and friend of mine and me- yep, it's a real life example... i know we've all been there, and God used a difficult relationship in her life to surface what He's wanting to do in her heart:

I said:
God> used [this tough thing in your life] to accomplish HIS purpose:
which is intimacy by way of a deeper> dependence springing out of an even
deeper NEED! praise the Lord to be> living (and believing) at the utter END
of your SELF! that lovely tension> that feels like you're gonna fall flat on
your face but somehow someway He's> got you.... and sooner than later you
enjoy this once umcomfortable position> because HE is doing the work and you
are just leaning into HIDING in HIM!> > praise Jesus for your life
and the hard stuff and the easy... going through> this i pray will continue
to awaken you to your need for Him, a desperate> one at that, even in the
pleasant times because you remember where you> really stand when all is
stripped totally. That's what GOD operates out of:> totally unashamed
barenakedness yet covered in Him alone.Total dependence> for everything... HE
is the vine and you are the branch! Yay! I see he has> "finally" -goh- come
after you!> > i love you

She responded:
that is it. He's got me to a place where I feel SO
uncomfortable.exposed even. and it FEELS like I'm walking on the edge of a cliff
attimes and I don't even know (symbollically) how to call for help. It'slike I
don't even know how to pray anymore. I'm completely disabled.But the Lord in His
faithfulness reminded me that "the Spirit alsohelps in our weaknesses. For we do
not know what we should pray for aswe ought, but the Spirit Himself makes
intercession for us withgroanings which cannot be uttered...He makes
intercession for thesaints according to the will of God." It is totally NOT up
to me towalk by the Spirit. Later in the chapter, Paul says that if the Spiritof
Christ is in me, then my body is dead because of sin, but theSpirit is life
because of righteousness. It's a matter of walking byFAITH to know that even
though (like in Romans 7) I don't understandwhat I do, for "what I will to do,
that I do not practice; but what Ihate, that I do." This is my heart: "For I
DELIGHT in the law of Godaccording to the inward man. But I see another law in
my members,warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity
tothe law of sin which is in my members"...He will deliver me!! I'm justgonna
have to trust that HE is in charge of the LIFE of CHRIST withinme and that I'm
just a partaker in this life. I give up. It's sostrange and boy does it ever
keep getting stranger - but I give up forthe rest of my life. you can definitely
say that my relationship andmy walk with the Lord is a unique one - definitely
not what I sawcoming. ha! but I will trust taht He is bringing me to a place
that isimpossible to get to without going this road. i will trust. i
willtrust.love you more

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Katie B |

listen to this too:

sarah kelly- an edgy singer who is definitely surrendered to the life of Father - almost pleading for Him to move her and in her... some lyrics that go exactly with the previous post and is the anthem for the day:

I choose to trust you even through the fire
Even when my eyes can’t see, yes, I know you’re right beside me
And I will always praise you Lord
No matter what may come
Because you are always faithful to me

So I will dream and I believe that what you’ve promised soon I will see
Soon I will see

It’s just a matter of time til I see your face, til I dance in your presence, and sing of your grace
It’s just a matter of time til I hear you say ‘well done’

I surrender to your will, to your way, to your plan
All I have and all I am… all I am

It’s just a matter of time…

she's on i tunes. she's cool.

but moreso the lyrics are cool... we all know that faith is a choice right? it's being SURE of things HOPED for (not things we already feel or have. . . i think those have already come to pass!). He asks for continuous faith... belief. so many of us say... well i know who I am : righteous, beloved, forgiven, but it's so hard to apply it, to live it. well to that i say "just BELIEVE it!" surrendering the right to feel the truth see the truth or understand it... give Him willing believing heart and He will honor it. yes, the GOSPEL is saving power to those who ARE believing. Present tense. ha.... It has no power for those who once believed or who plan on believing later.

The Gospel is so cool... just when you think you are in the depths of misery, loneliness, uncertainty... he covers you. and covers you, and covers you. Because HE can! HE wants to lift us out and we can never lift ourselves out in the way that He does. Just when I think I am a miserable unlovable person and almost start to claim that he speaks truth over me. and covers me with amazing Grace and enables me to continue this road.

By faith alone... all things experienced here are but a shadow of what is really to come! Praise the Lord that it's only a matter of time (time is a small thing in God's economy: he is not bound by it!) til we see Him and hear "well done" wow. it makes me wanna slow down and hear from Him now: "what would you have me do Lord!?"

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Katie B |

listen to this:

i highly recommend going to 268generation.com and listening to louie's grace series. i just listened to the second talk in the series. He talks about how it's so easy to take the easy way through life but you miss out on the reward... the eternal one that is. what a joy it will be to throw down our crown at the feet of our Jesus- He has given us the grace to do things anyway. I think we become so comfortable with 'who we are' in Christ that the word 'do' scares us.

I pray that I understand grace even more so that it makes me an active believer who definitely yields to Christ since He wants to do life for me, and my heart motive is not to earn status or recognition, my motive is a 'want to' not necessarily for Christ or for a certain end(just for a reward or so i'll look good in the kingdom: these are self-centered not Christ centered motives), but because Christ 'wants to' in me. I am sure there's so much he wants to do in an through us to accomplish His eternal purpose:

His people in intimate relationship with Him.

And as we trust him to do this we grow in intimacy with Him. We learn to hear Him clearly and trust Him unashamedly without caution or regret. Our loving Savior is trustworthy you know?!

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Katie B |

I Got Nothin...

I got nothing but the grace of God, that is. How often to I look to lesser Gods for my self worth and security only to be disappointed and shake my fist at him... "Why did you allow that God?"

Secure life in Christ is living only in Him. It's seeing things from HIS perspective. And it's only by His grace that I can even begin to see that much: a total gift. Disappointment and discontentedness may last a moment, but HE is consistent and never changing. I have to prech that to myself constantly.

The same God who delivered me out of those lies, that bondage, that desperation is with me today and is more than capable of giving that if only I will receive it... *note to self: yes, Grace is still a free gift!

Could it be that things aren't as we hoped so that He can show himself to be true hope?
Could it be that he keeps us from feeling the truth until we will simply believe it by faith and not feeling?
Could I be an idiot for thinking that the more tangible thing is the real thing?
Possibly so... and now there is a choice to be made:
To believe or not to believe: that's the question.
Not only am I a woman of grace but one of truth. Grace without truth is a license to throw grace on the back burner and live for myself. Grace with truth, walking in truth and REALITY of HIM and His life- is true freedom: Freedom to be who he created me to be and to enjoy Him in each moment. No longer a slave to lies, disappointment, and discontentment.
*note to self: You, my friend, are HIS. Nothing less.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Katie B |