This Plea to myself and others:

Dont simply hear the word. Actively place your trust in Jesus to live His life through you. When something resonates with your spirit stop and ask Him what He wants to say to you. Wait. Listen. Stop talking. Listen.

If there's something you wanna know about, Wait. Listen. Stop talking. Listen. ASK for REVELATION knowledge so you dont just have it in your head, but he reveals it in your very life. (And HE will accomplish this through the power of the spirit that lives and dwells inside of you!)

Do you know He loves you PERSONALLY? Well he does, and you are worthy enough in Christ for Him to do something just for YOU! I am believing He will do it.

Remember it's NOT YOUR or MY JOB! Say it with me: It's NOT MY Job!! (say it a couple more times please!) It's not my job to understand, to achieve intimacy, to live. It's Jesus Christ's job by the power of the Holy Spirit. To believe anything different would be untruth. Divine knowledge/revelation is just that: DIVINE. Rest in that. Rest in His timing and His words. Hear the simple quiet whispers in your thoughts. Ask him about them and appropriate them into your life in that moment. That's where God works most often: the here-and-now. Grace for the moment/each and EVERY moment! He is able. It's HIS JOB! (do you feel lighter already?)

Jason Upton: Trust Once More
Somebody here is hurting
Somebody here is broken
Somebody here is waiting
Somebody here is hoping...

for Love to Come unlock every door
It takes You {in} me to open up once more
And learn to trust again

Somebody here is searching
Somebody's dreams were stolen
Somebody's arms are reaching
Somebody need to hold them...

for Love to come unlock every door
It takes You {in} me to open up Once more
And learn to trust again

I dont know where you come from
I dont know where you're going
I only know the healing
Starts when we all stop running...

(ok i confess i changed one little word on there but that's what it sounds like and that's how i sing it... it's technically and instead of in but that is unbiblical if this song is talking about Jesus. I can't do anything. He does everything... it's not up to me! Then again I do have the power of the will to trust him, but use your own discernment from the Lord)

So do you know that GOD IS love!? He is the Love that comes and unlocks every door of our soul (search me, know me Lord! i trust you to bring up what YOU wanna bring up!) so that we can trust him again... and again... and again... and... for the rest of our lives! Let him open you up so that you may receive healing and salvation(wholeness) from Him. He gave us a free will... we can choose not to, but I can testify to His faithfulness and that He is trustworthy! When we allow Him to perform some surgery on us, bring up old hurts, bring out old lies that we could not do apart from him, it takes trust. Many of us have been hurt or broken or simply confused- What does God say about that situation? TRUST HIM! He 'forms the heart of us all' Ps.33:15 and it is 'him who is able to keep you from falling' jude 24, he is your strong deliverer ps.140:7 and much more. he is exactly what you need in every situation.

One thing about our concept of God is that we often put on the glasses of our circumstances to look at God. Then we believe he is angry at us, or witholding something from us, or he is distant or authoritative. Are these not all lies??!! Especially as believers, God has NO wrath towards us because Jesus paid that price long ago.

LOOK at your circumstances through the lens of a good, loving, all-knowing and ultimately SOVEREIGN (in control) God! He loves you as His child. He knows what is best and wants to give you that (think about the father in the prodigal son story... gave all he had and celebrated his son, just as if he had never sinned). How do you see God?

I am having so much trouble understanding how loving and intimate He truly is. And then I look back over my week and see how he has answered my questions specifically, how he has given me peace, and how he has allowed me to come to the end of myself that He might minister to me, and there is sooo much more to come! I am so excited about resting this weekend and really hearing his voice. Asking him simple questions like how do you love me? how doyou see me?

you see, i have seen God often as a nice teacher. I thought that his purposes are to teach me stuff (because i often identify myself as a 'student') but today i got the awesome opportunity to renounce that lie. He is all about LOVE. Read 1 cor 13 to see what love is... and how God fills all those Characteristics. He is all about relationship. He is all about REST! conflict and frustration are of the flesh but rest is of God! When I know that I am loved, when i swallow my pride and actually receive it and believe it then i am free. Free to fail, free to look stupid, free to be who I really am because i am so secure in Him. I see all my circumstances as from God, knowing that they may not make sense but He sees the big picture so i stand on His sovereignty.

It's easy to say that i know all these things. I know many of them in my head. Now, as shaky times come and go i need to learn to trust. Do i really believe God is who he says he is and can do what he says he can do? A lot of times I do not. I dont believe he wants intimacy with me, i dont believe he loves me, i dont believe he's trustworthy, but that's where he comes in:
He asks me to totally surrender my unbelief up and out to him and receive what is true about him. He is obviously doing what it takes in my own life to teach me this but only for the sake of loving me. HIS PURPOSE is to know Him, and the more i know him the more I learn to trust. daily, hourly, minute-ly. you get the picture. it's an ongoing dialogue but i am pumped about participating in this divine intimacy with my father.

praise the Lord for brokenness! i am here in charlotte and he is pressing into me the gospel each and everyday, breaking me of my ideas of how He will move and showing me His. as we grow and change the gospel stays the same and is life each day for each situation!

the truth: apart from Christ I AM failure! I operate in my flesh and he says that anything done apart from faith is sin so apart from Him I am nothing. The good news is He takes that self life and exchanges it for His life. Jesus was (and is) a success! He fulfilled the whole law, living a perfect life therefore owing no debt yet he payed the full price for everything:

Isaiah 53amplified version shows:pay attention to specific things that Jesus bore on the cross so we would have to...
3He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men (yes i know the feeling), a Man of sorrows and pains(been there too), and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him. (have you ever had any of THESE feelings)

4Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy] (YES! did you hear that?! he took on our griefs, our distresses: those are NOT OURS to bear!!!!!!!)

5But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities(our twisted thinking/lies we believe); the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.(WHOLE: Lacking NOTHING! You are whole! In Christ... ask Him how he completes you specifically in this moment!)

our sin, our grief, the sins of those who hurt us... ALL things so that He could give us HIS life and identity: perfect, righteous and holy(set apart:special) and WHOLE! and that is who we are... do we always act like it? no! but that's the new me! i am in Christ- in His family. and ask asks me to ACT like it!

He MADE us with the needs to be loved, accepted, worth something, and secure and only He can fulfill those needs. And for some reason we try to fill them ourselves. Praise God that he cares enough to allow us to be broken of our own filling methods, making us empty so
that He can be intimate with us: So HE can fill all those needs. That's incredible truth I'm learning... and He's walking me through that so HE can fill those needs in the deepest intimate way.

Living in Christ is NOT about results. If we're walking in the spirit and trusting by faith that He's doing anything and everything through us from showering to studying to sleeping that is what shows forth as gold. the rest is dead works. wood hay and stubble. so if i trust christ to take my boards exam (which is july 11 aahh!) through me and i fail, he sees it as a success. he took the test through me
and so i accept that he wanted me to fail. yep it hurts like crap but i offer those feelings up and out to Him and receive the truth IN THAT MOMENT about the situation. EXCHANGING my self life for HIS abundant one. beauty for ashes, a garment of praise for my heaviness, freedom for the captive and so on...
Isaiah 61 (imagine Jesus saying this to you! He wants to do this in you personally. He IS your 'personal savior', ya know!)
1THE SPIRIT of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound,
2To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] [a]and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
3To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion--to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit--that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified...
7Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold (wow more that i could ask or imagine; Eph 3:20)recompense;
instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.(so surrender AAALLLL things to Him... you never know what he'll do with those things)
...And I will faithfully give them their recompense in truth, and I will make an everlasting covenant or league with them.

9And their offspring shall be known among the nations and their descendants among the peoples. All who see them [in their prosperity] will recognize and acknowledge that they are the people whom the Lord has blessed.

10I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation (yep, that's WHOLENESS, lacking nothing), He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

Do you see the before and after? Allow God to minister to you in this moment. He wants even more that you to replace lies with truth and to meed your deepest needs. When He does that, THEN i can have peace because i trust him... There is so much
power in receiving HIS life. Praise God for brokenness. for breaking our ties of controlling our lives and flesh so he can do His thing.

I want so badly to know everything in these classes i am taking so I read all i can, stay up late and ponder, watch more videos, listen to more sermons but that's not how God wants me to do it. All i got was exhaustion, frustration, and burnout: fruit of the flesh.
He is unique and does not think like me and does not teach like i think he teaches. His holy spirit will lead meinto ALL truth! (as my finite mind can handle it)

ALL he asks is that we TRUST him. THEN i find rest and peace for my soul, knowing that He will do what HE wants. Yay! Freedom to rest and know he will do it and I dont have to (because I can't) my job is to believe receive and respond. I praise God for these sweet times. Time that we see that HE is all we need and HE is all that matters! What a testimony to a lover who pursues you and me like mad... relieving you of burdens that aren't yours to bear, the circumstances that aren't yours to control, so he can
love on you!
I will continue to pray for the Lord to reveal truth to all of us about Himself and the gospel in our daily lives!
Knowing Him is the best. If I do not know God, I have nothing.

If we cling to our rights, the things that we think we "deserve" or "need" we miss out and God giving us what we TRULY deserve or need in Christ. Hanging on to rights keeps us tied to the flesh that hinders His work and so he allows our circumstances to change that he may free us of these rights that we think are ours. Sounds bad, but it's good news! It brings us to a brokenness that frees us from the chains that we carry with us even though they are no longer ours. Here's a list and I am sure you can think of your own:
"Brokenness is evident when you no longer react with your previous flesh patterns when the following rights are challenged:
Your right to possessions. (I have a right to this house, that car, this mate)
Your right to a good reputation (People should all think good of me and like me)
Your right to have acceptance (see above)
Your right to be successful (remember the even the results belong to God)
Your right to have pleasant circumstances (can you truly say 'it's well w/ my soul?)
Your right to presume on the will of God (I just KNOW he's doing __ in my life/ and the emphasis being "I"- only HE knows all!)
Your right to life itself
Your right to beauty or strength (I know I find pride in the fact that I have use of all 4 of my limbs- but what IF?? ...)
Your right to have friends. (wow.)
Your right to be heard. (Is he calling you to give up what you want so you can shut up and hear what HE wants? You know His way is better...)
Your right to take offense. (It's not about you. You are defined by what GOD says!)
Your right to avoid reaping from what you sow. (there are still consequences and we aren't above those)
Your right to be right. (Remember Jesus surrendering this in the face of Pilot when false accusations were put against him? See the bigger plan in his surrender?)
Your right to see results. (We may never see results or change...it's NOT about the results!)
Your right to be loved by others (LOrd, make me so steeped in your love that i dont look to others to meet this need. YOU are enough!)
Your right to ___________ :: you fill it in ... ask the Lord what you are holding on to that hinders your freedom.

When you give up your rights, here are some of the freedoms you'll probably experience though it's not limited to this list:
All of my rights have been surrendered.
I am willing to be out of control.
I am not believing in or living by feelings/old patterns but by CHRIST within.
I am obedient out of a love motive ecause I want to, not because I have to.
I am not performing for God but I am actively letting Christ performin and through me. I am willing to fail.
I am willing to be weak.
I am depending upon Christ to meet my basic inner needs: acceptance, meaning, and purpose, identity, power over sin, strength, and victory.
I am trusting God, whatever happens, and resting in Him even with external turmoil.
I am seeking Christ himself more than His benefits.
I am forgiving of all.
I am willing to be rejected, willing to share failures.
I am willing to be misunderstood.
I am willing to be broken again .

WOW! That's some pretty heavy stuff. Do you see how Christ free's us and what does NOT define us?! Imagine being so secure in him that you give up success and are willing to fail, or give up the right to be heart and are willing to be misunderstood. In Christ we have all our needs met.
I know we all have a fear of rejection in some shape form or fashion. Mine is the fact that I believed the lie "i am unimportant" due to messages received as a child. If I live out of this lie and cling to my right to take offense, then people will dictate my worth. I will continue to receive this feeling of unimportance and unworthiness because that's what i believe about myself. I am definitely NOT willing to be rejected because my significance is found in my lack of rejection. I am bound by what people do or say to me and can't receive it from the Lord because i am meeting needs in others. I am doing all i can (fleshly coping) such as telling people what i think they wanna hear, avoiding conflict so they dont reject me again, living in fear of hurting someone because i think it's up to me to guard their heart and much more. EXHAUSTING! HELLO! Conflict and Frustration in a MAJOR way!

NOW, if i receive my importance, my significance solely from the LORD, I DON'T NEED you to accept me. I can even enter into relationships knowing i may be rejected, and granted that will hurt, but it doesn't crush me because my significance is totally 110% in Jesus. I am willing to be rejected because I know that Christ waits on the other side to fill that need more than ever before. Your acceptance is only icing on the cake. I am not in bondage to how you treat me. Amen? ! Amen!THanks so much Jesus for your incredible acceptance.
Is your trust in God or men for your identity?

Ps56:11- in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Psalm 118:6The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Hebrews 13:5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."6So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Greater is HE that is in YOU!
Lord make this REAL. Make this more real that we ever hoped or imagined!!

i found this on a blog from a guy who goes to a church here in charlotte... sounds like God's revealing similar things to him!

So you think you know grace? I thought I did. That was until I
discovered that I had no grace for people with out a revelation of grace.
I get mad at people for clinging to old religious ideas that have nothing to do
with the Good News of Jesus Christ. But what this proves is that I know
very little about the love and grace of God. It shows that I understand an
idea but have a very hard time putting it into practice. The fact is not
every one is going to applaud your revelation on the Gospel. In fact they may
spit on you. But the love of Christ is not offended by people’s offense.
It continues to reach out and reach out and reach out, despite our ugliness and
selfishness and our ignorance. I was blind before I could see and I know
there is much more about God that I have yet to see and in His mercy He loves me
despite the fact that I have nothing together. This is the mercy I’ve
received and freely I am compelled to pass it on. And slowly I am starting
to learn grace.

And his friend responded:

So you think you know grace?

So, so true. The hardest
thing to learn is to not judge - NOT even the judges. Otherwise we become
legalists of grace. What's the difference? That's what so incredible about God's
character. He is not offended by anyone accepting or rejecting him. He simply
came to die for us all, equalized the playing field, and sees you and me no
different from the prostitute on the corner. It’s not our right-works or
righteousness that impresses him, but the righteousness of his Son. Thanks for
the reminder. ;-)

yep, 'nuff said.

ps: here's something to challenge your thinking:

go to http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

if you encountered these people could you love them? could you keep from casting judgements and love them? what would you think if you met this person or that one? we live in a hurting world and i think this site is showing a lot of people without their facade. these are the people that we love with the love only Christ can give. this is who Christ died for just as much as you and me. or maybe you and i can relate to them... it's only by his mercy and grace that i am not a prostitute, thief, unwed mother, or any other thing that our haughty society looks down on. yet before Christ I was just as dead, just as lost, just and destined for hell, yet in His great mercy he rescued me and brought me to new life in him. It's ONLY by His grace.

"I pay no attention to numbers. What matters is the people. I rely on one. There is only one; Jesus." Mother Teresa

She said it. It's not about results. The only results are the ones that last because they happen when we rely on the person of Jesus. Christ in ME the hope of glory. Only what's done by faith will last. Romans talks about anything not done in faith is sin and that is so true. That statement leaves me at the end of myself, throwing up my hands in surrender saying "I CANT DO IT!" I cannot live the Christian life but He can. His yoke is easy and his burden(which is exchanged for the old heavy burden of the law) is light! That lightness often comes from the confidence that whether i feel it or not, whether my circumstances are positive or negative, Christ is in control and He lives through me by faith.

GOD does not see the same way people see. People look at the OUTSIDE (physical, or their performance or achievements) of a person, but the Lord looks at the HEART. (1 sam 16:7)
God searches us and knows us and sees right through us. HE is not concerned about the outside He wants our heart. HE wants our everything. It's not about what I can do but whether I am trusting that HE is living through me, in this moment, in His power. The results are not mine but His and he will use all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose. Yep. ALL. There's freedom again in this grace of God. I do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and so the outcomes are HIS. They dont define me but HE defines me. People may label me failure, stupid, wrong, etc but if I am trusting Christ then God sees it as success! That's all He asks is faith in Him. The reality of it all? Mother Teresa would probably say along with God that real faith produces love. How can I love? By first receiving His love and knowing my identity and how Christ sees me. Then that frees ME up to see others when I understand who God says I am. I am no different in the amount of love God has for me compared to them, and if Christ is in me, I have the power to see them through His eyes (we have the mind of Christ as well) and love them by faith in the ONE who IS love!

walk in love! walk IN Christ!

wanna know if you truly know grace? here's your test:

Do you/ CAN you love people?! (especially the 'stupid' the 'annoying' the 'ignorant' the 'legalists' the 'perfect ones' your family the 'drug dealers' the 'rude' ones the 'horrible service at __ restaurants' the 'one' who hurt you... )
Can you allow Christ in you to love them? If you're free to love, it's possible that you are free in Christ...

precious lord, make this a reality to me. search me and know any twisted thoughts in me that keep me from loving others or forgiving others and you have done for me. help me to understand the fullness of your love and forgiveness!!

One might think that living by grace allows people to do "whatever they want" but if you know WHO you are at salvation it lines up: You CAN do whatever you want because as a new creation, it's your nature, your identity, to WANT to please Christ! You want to do these things. That's why Paul talks in Romans 7 about the things he "wants to do." Well why do we still sin? We sin because there is still a pull, a power of sin in us called flesh that tells us otherwise. The good news is you're free to serve God. You don't HAVE to to earn His acceptance but His love motivates you. "Christ's love compels us!" Look at 2 Cor 5:

13If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if
we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For Christ's love compels us, because
we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died
for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him
who died for them and was raised again.
16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who
reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of
reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not
counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of
reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were
making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled
to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might
become the righteousness of God.

"The basic sense of synecho (to compel) is to hold something together so that it does not fall apart. From this we get the meanings to "hold fast" (that is, to not allow to slip through one's fingers) and to "surround" or "hem in" (that is, to not let escape; Köster 1971:883). The idea is that Christ's love completely controls and dominates Paul so that he has no option but to preach. " -IVP New Testament commentary

OK, HIS love holds us together. He IS love so He holds us together- He makes sense of life, HE loves in a way that holds us fast, surrounds us, and hems us in. It's UNSHAKEABLE. The world will try to tell you that this type of love does not exist. Your flesh will tell you that you are unlovable and you can't receive this type of love but guess what you can, and you already have if you accept Christ. It's just a matter of you receiving this for yourself. It's available to us in abundance!

In Him we live and move and have our being and when we recognize that we are less likely to sin because our focus is Him, who dwells IN us. The last verse tells about our identity: we ARE the righteousness of God. Let THAT sink in. Let THAT change how you live!

I know I talked about the law in the last entry and to keep it from being to long i wanted to include some awesome truth about how Jesus brought it all around: In order to make it clear to those who were under the old covenant Jesus gave a command to encapsulate it all:

1 John 3:23: And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

Galatians 5:6: For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision (good works of the flesh) nor uncircumcision (rebellious works of flesh) means anything, but faith working (by the Spirit) through love. 14: For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."

Look how central love is! He doesn't ask that we obey to fulfill the law but it's automatically fulfilled when we believe in Jesus and love people! Think about His life on earth: He loved people! He criticized the Pharisees who lived unto the law and their filthy righteousness. Jesus calls us to a much higher standard since the law was only a shadow of what is to come (a shadow of Jesus himself) And I dont worship a shadow I worship the person of Jesus Christ!!!! The question is not always "is this right" but "Jesus, how can you love through me today!?"

And you can be free to love people if you know that the Saviour of the universe loves you madly. When you catch wind of that you wont care how "crazy in love" you look or how "out of our mind," as paul says you look because it's for the sake of God.

When it clicked in my head about being united with Christ in marriage it was like nothing could touch me. You can see in my face, when i am resting in this truth, that I know i am loved! We need that! He made us to need that! You have seen the girl who has a new grace-filled boyfriend who loves her for who she is. She can't hide her glee- she can't stop talking about him, and that is JEsus to me.

What does this have to do with identity? EVERYTHING! I can receive all these things in Christ because of what he's done on my behalf. I am free to be blessed by him regardless of my performance because i am totally righteous not by my own works but by the finished work of Christ. That's why I dont sin as often because my focus is on what I CAN do: love people, love myself as Christ has loved me. forgive people, forgive myself as Christ has forgiven me. I AM one who loves/a lover, I AM a forgiver! It's out of character for me to not do these things. I am still definitely chewing and processing how this works but I have experienced the freedom of knowing I am the bride, the beloved of Christ who is cherished beyond belief. Why would I even need to look to another?! He is sufficient!

I think freedom scares people. I know it does me. I think "you mean, there's no rules? NONE?! How am I gonna know what to do? I have always had rules. I have always had a standard to live by. You mean I have to surrender my life and abilities to trust YOU? You will guide me? Just like that? And i dont have to DO anything?"

Ok I know that's a lot of questions to ask but it's common questions. We had a lecture on Law and Grace today and it was really neat to hear the freedom that is ours fully in Christ. Think about Adam and Eve before the fall: they were naked and unashamed and they just existed in relationship with God. They didn't have to worry about what to do/not to do, he just told them. They had not eaten the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil and so they were not aware of the law, yet they pleased God, just by being there with him. He loved them and that's why he asked them not to eat. Well you know what happened next: Satan came and deceived Eve into eating as Adam stood back and watched and then did the same. Then, BAM! They know good and evil and are ashamed at the fact that they believed they could know good and evil, thus becoming their own gods. (in a warped way of course). God only wanted to be in relationship with them but they chose to believe that living independent of Him is better. And we still see evidence of the fall today... living out of that tree of the knowledge of 'good' (doing all the right things, yet apart from God) and 'evil' (doing the rebellious-looking things which is just as bad b/c it's independent/apart from God). That's what SIN is! IT's separation from God and it's miserable. You have to live up to these standards which are good standards b/c they reflect the perfect nature of God but you quickly find and YOU CANNOT live up to them. (Hey, the speed limit is a law... think about how just seeing that sign makes you go, ooh, about 5-7 miles over. Are you breaking the law? Yep. Why is is so hard?!)

And this is the purpose of the Law: to shows us we CAN'T. We see our dirtiness and imperfection, but the law is like a mirror: it shows us when we are covered in dirt but it can do NOTHING to clean us! God has provided a way out though in the person of Jesus Christ. We are no longer blessed or cursed according to our actions but we are blessed. period. with all the spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus! We are! All we have to do is accept it/ RECEIVE it!

This may seem elementary to most of you but was huge for me:
My faith, my choosing to believe something does not make it true; it is TRUTH, THEREFORE, I believe! Somehow my thinking got twisted to tell me that if i just believed enough it would come true in my life. In all actuallity, let's take my righteousness. I am righteous in Christ. Romans says "in Him all died" so in actuality I for real died with him and rose again to new life before the foundations of time. Is it true? Yes! But not because of my belief but because it's true. I just agree and acknowledge it as true. This river is already flowin' and has been for all time, and I just get to jump in! At that point I enter in to the life of Jesus. His life become mine. His past and his present and His future I share because I am in Him. Now that I know that I get to walk in the truth that I'm in him and He is in me and all His qualities identify me and now i just get to walk in them!

"It's too easy!" you say. Well that's why it's scandalous! "Why dont I have to do anything for it? I have always worked for everything!" Well that's the cool thing about God. He asks us to just accept the free gift of GRACE because Christ has already paid the price for our sin/our living independently of God, and not just that but He gives us HIS life! "And God demonstrates His own LOVE for us in this: While we were STILL sinners Christ died FOR us!"-Rom.5:8. Yep, FOR us. We deserve the wrath of God as creatures in Adam but Jesus paid the debt and gave us his resurrection life. Now our past has nothing to do with us because we "died and our life is hidden with Christ in God"Col.3:3. The law can do nothing but make you sin more: Doing the 'right thing' apart from God is just as bad as doing the 'wrong thing' but with grace you are fully accepted based on the finished work of Christ. Therefore we can rejoice in failures because we are accepted. He doesn't accept us base on what we do or how well we do it because he has already met the requirements. He loves us without condition. Don't step outside truth and try to make it conditional because you love that law. Brothers and sisters, we are under grace! Well how does God set boundaries on behaviour then? I am glad you asked. The answer? You are a NEW CREATION. See the next entry for more info :)

lord i ask for revelation for all believers and nonbelievers alike- help us understand the scandalous grace that you so freely give. let is saturate our lives like never before. show us who we are: new creations, dearly loved children so we can walk in that. align our hearts with this truth that we may experience victory and transformation in you alone. YOU are life!

ok so it's been more than a week since i last wrote anything but it feels like it's been about a year. in this past week i have experienced more freedom in Christ, I have experienced the gospel aka the great glad news that makes a man leap for joy (that's the old english definition according to malcolm smith) aka the saving power to those who ARE believing. Wow how powerful is the gospel??!! As I am being transformed moment by moment and my mind lines up with this powerful truth that Christ is in me, the gospel is great enough and deep enough to be just as powerful all over again. I need to hear it over and over- that's so cool that God made it that way! I can truly say that I am not the same now as I was this morning! HE is transforming me from glory to glory by feeding me truth but also because the PERSON of Jesus Christ lives IN and THROUGH me. IN meaning He defines me. I am defined from the inside out. My identity is my true self and my true self wants to obey God. Christ IN me gives me the power to do so. I am so thankful to be united with this man who cherishes me, who calls me righteous and precious and beloved. I could spend all summer just pondering my identity. He has been so faithful to show me, in the lovely words of Beyonce' Knowles:

...Such a funny thing for me to try to explain
How I'm feelin and my pride is the one to blame
Cause I know i don't understand
Just how your love can do what No One else can...

Got me lookin so crazy right now
Your love's got me looking so crazy right now
Got me lookin' so crazy right now
Your touch got me lookin so crazy right now...
Your kiss got me hopin you'll save me right now...

It doesn't take much for God to speak to us- He is the creator of all things and is in all things pursuing us with his message of unconditional love and acceptance: Needs that He made and placed in us that only He can meet. Beyonce has the human race pinned when she says that her "price is the one to blame." I know my pride/my twisted thinking that I could meet my needs for love prevent me from fully receiving what God so intensely wants me to have: His unconditional love. But it's so true that NO ONE ELSE can do what He can do. NO one No thing is better than God himself, and He will allow much to happen to us to bring us to the end of our own attempts at finding love to convince us that HE is crazy about US! and only HE can fulfill us.

Yet, we pursue lesser lovers: we all have these idols and believe that we can do a better job than Father in meeting these God-shaped needs. The LIE? I can be as God (my own God/Lord of my Ring or my life as Bill Gillham calls it) and it becomes ingrained in us and we learn to survive in this world of iniquities (iniquities literally means twisted thoughts). YEs, satan takes truth and twists it and God came to shatter that junk so that we can be free. Free from religion and the law. He allowed us to die with Him so that HE could marry us! We are no longer married to the stone-cold Mr Law but are married to Jesus! Mr GRACE himself! We can rest in his love for us and are motivated to served him because he places no law on us. His yoke is easy and his burden is so very light and we are free to dance the steps of our choice because we are married to a man who wants US. (Juan Carlos Ortiz- Liberated in the Beloved) Not our performance but our lives and our hearts so that He can be in relationship, crazy in love with us. I am so glad to be joined as one with Jesus, existing in the reality of His life. I have much more to share so come back for more :) I cant wait to break down all the truths and experiences that He is using to transform me in a powerful way.