1: i have something to hide
2: i am the only one who has this "something"
well, newsflash:
1.you have nothing to hide because your identity is that of Christ so that "something" does not define you and satan is just taking your eyes off of Him and onto yourself
2. you are NOT the only one! satan has deceived us all at one time or another into withdrawing and hiding so that the body won't be expressed and community will cease to be formed when this overwhelming shame comes over you and me and prevents us from being able to share what's really going on with our brothers and sisters in Christ...
Your community is there to glorify Him through being His hands His feet His voice His hugs His touch His vessel of love and acceptance to us all that we so desperately need but are too proud to admit. It is formed through people being transparent- you cant really reach out to someone that pushes you away.
What do I have to be ashamed of? Nothing. I am no different than you. You are no different than me- we were both separated from God and now by His grace alone can we live a victorious life. We can stake our fellowship (definition: my acceptance of your acceptance of me) on that fact. WE(none of us!) didn't earn, afford or make this grace that God gave us to rescue us from an independent a.k.a. self-centered life where I have to figure it all out and I have to present myself the way I expect me to be. The shame is only a shadow of the past life, when we had to be perfect and work twice as hard to hide that we weren't. Man has been struggling like this since the time when he covered up in fig leaves in Eden, like that would take care of His shame... like he could "fix it all" by controling and coping in every which way but rely on the One who gave him his life in the first place.
Any time the enemy speaks into your head (and yes he will come first person in a voice sounding like your own) "I am so defective... I am worthless... I can't let anyone know this about me or they'll think _____" (b/c it only matters what GOD thinks) Rebuke it immediately and preach the gospel to yourself:
I am a child of God, born again by the Spirit of God. The sinner me was crucified with Christ, and the old me is dead- I no longer live but Christ lives this new resurrected life through the new me. Those thoughts are not my own but sorry attempts from someone who hates me and wants the worst for me. I choose today to rely on the one who loves me and wants the best for me and has a plan for my life, and i welcome the flow of His life through me. I can't do this life... I can't think thoughts of truth apart from TRUTH himself who has given me access to His mind and His heart and His thoughts through the miracle of the Holy Spirit.
I DENY that i am alone. I receive the life and love of my savior who loves me and gave Himself for me. Don't you see how important it is to believe the gospel?
Isaiah 53: 3He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, (I have to believe that He sees my darkness )
a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness;(I have to believe He knows my pain)
and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised,
and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.
4Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses)
and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment],
yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten,
and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy].
5But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities;
the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace
and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes
[that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole. (I have to lift up my hands to worship, worship His name)
You are NOT a half-person, a maimed person, a defective person... He has made you WHOLE in Christ, in your spirit, the part of you that identifies you to Him. That's reality and that's what you can live out of. He's paid the price for all imperfections, iniquities (which is twisted thinking) and sorrow and pain so that we could have peace and know that He's experienced it all. There is fellowship w/ Jesus because of that and we also find fellowship with others when we have shared experiences.
The painful stuff? Well that's just Him transforming your mind to line up with the truth. It's a process and a journey as he refines the soul part of you: the part that thinks, feels, and chooses. It's also an opportunity to find intimacy with the one who has felt the same think and who has an exchange for that pain. He gives healing and wholeness.
There's a fight to believe, an urgency almost, to believe God is who He says He is and we are who He says we are: His. Beloved. Your Spirit cries Abba father from deep within and your flesh tries to raise up that old dead you so you can be in control, putting your fig leaves back on... Hiding that which is not a part of you any longer anyway. the enemy is tricky, he is subtle and clever but he is defeated. Shame is not of Father. Love and acceptance is. Receive it from Him he has more than enough to give. Do not be deceived. Be-loved. Love drives out all fear (and shame I would guess since that's pretty much fear of being exposed).
Let Him love you intensely in this moment.
