This past weekend, we were also sent out across camp, it was a clear cold night, they turned out all the lights and Father was there. I realized that my favorite parts were the leader's meetings where we had 15 minutes to be still. If God spoke, he spoke, if not that was fine too. I just loved BE-ing there with "BE" (you know... "I am" the unconjugated form is... "BE") that's His name! Yahweh=I am who I am! And this time, under the stars, I was so content even if He didn't speak to just be in that place, alone with my love. My heart of hearts. And as I wept for the girls who were so content and full on the world, I recognized that it wasn't too long ago that I was there. So I got excited that God would break in on them too... and told them that their time would come when that no longer satisfied.
At the end of the weekend I just kept coming back to how awesome being in His presence is. Being totally there... where I always am whether I acknowledge it or not, in HIM and He is in me. I am overwhelmed and overjoyed at this God that knows my thoughts-something a man could never do- and for someone to know THAT much about me is amazing. I mean, He lives inside me! He's there all the time and KNOWS me! Isn't that what we want so often is to be known? There's something about someone just asking you questions and getting in to your life that wins your heart. And God is that person- wanting to know your story from your point of view, but already knows it because that's who He is by our position in Him!
As I continued to reflect on what God has done the past couple of years I wept more- I am so humbled at His pursuit and was able to see it looking back moreso than being in the midst of it. Oh, His hand is in it all: Yesterday, today and tomorrow forever. As i looked at the tons and tons of stars so intricate and complex something welled up in me and my heart was warmed at the thought of FATHER. Father has done an incredible work in breaking down walls inside of me- and I praised Him for that. We have been a lot of places together and I am looking forward to more. There's something overwhelming about being in His presence. There's something perspective-changing about it. There's also something essential about it.
I loved the times of prayer this summer when Sandy would lead us. We would just sit and be silent and be with him. Sense Him. Knowing that He was there and would continue to be there as things picked up during the day. It was so hard to leave that place. "Your presence Lord is LIFE to me."(Kathryn Scott, Breathe on me Now) Because He IS my life, He is my everything. He is I AM and so I like to get a little more specific with His names sometimes:
LIFE be my life and source today.
GRACE be my love and grace toward others and myself.
PRESENCE stir my soul - Being here with YOU, Life, is enough.
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listen to the song pursuit in worship today.... He says "I cant live without your presence, I can't live without your presence" It's so simple. It's where I find my life and energy and purpose. It's powerful because it is HIM! PRESENCE Himself! This mode of prayer is powerful and many movements have come from it... think about the Acts church-
Knowing Him and who He is causes us to be nothing less than active people when we are In Christ and trusting Him to live his life through us. We can't help it! The love of Christ compels us! Kinda funny because GOD is Love! He compels us! He does it! Being filled with him (yes, as a believer you are filled, so live in it- believe it) overflows into loving and joy peace patience kindness goodness faith gentleness and self control to be manifested and those around you to be recipients of such.
Know (Be intimate with) Him and then WALK in Him, all the while KNOWing He will do it.
