Well... It has been quite a while since I have blogged but after some attempts at changing the look and trying to think and evaluate what has just happened this semester, I think this will be a great way to do just that.

This is the first time I have actually changed the look of the blog since I got it in 2005... Yes my very first blog, which I started right after I graduated from Auburn and moved to Charlotte, NC for the summer. I participated in a life-changing internship at Grace Life International, a pastoral counseling ministry. This time was incredible. Nothing compares to you being away for 9 weeks to be mentored and just focus on Jesus and have no other distractions. This was such a tool of Father to shape me for what was to come. It was life changing and prepared me for the next chapter: "The Real World" in Birmingham, AL.

I am blessed to be a part of the body there, be fed the gospel of grace which only reinforced what I had spend studying in the summer, find great friends and live life as a young single. (haha) I still consider those such rich days where the Lord took what I had learned that summer and asked me to live them out in this great community. I also worked at a Bone Marrow Transplant unit at UAB hospital. This challenging job shaped me, payed the bills AND allowed me 4 days a week (I worked 3 12 hour shifts) outside of that to enjoy and love people. I wouldn't trade those days for anything. God used that year to prepare me for where I am now- working with Auburn college students- and where he is preparing to move me out of (I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!)

When you look back over your life do you see how He has orchestrated what has happened in the past to prepare and shape you for what's next? The more I look back the more I find guidance for what's next. Look at Esther's life- Chapter 4:14- when Mordecai told her that her position she was in could be "for a time such as this." Our times are not too different- there are overwhelming numbers of people in our families, communities, and this world in bondage. They don't know or understand the gospel and they need Christ to intervene, so that they can be all He created them to be: worshippers of Him. This is our highest destiny--what we were made for! Anything less is empty and leaves us searching. I even find myself in this place: Lord what is my purpose? What am I doing here? It is then that I come back to worshipping and delighting in Him more than anything. THEN He shows me the next step and THEN He brings clarity. He has done this time and time again. When I begin to love the plan and focus on the agenda more than fixing my eyes on Jesus, I have missed it. Waiting for the next page to turn, I see what's ahead to prepare for Hong Kong and at the same time have NO idea. I can't wait to see how God writes this chapter. Until that page turns, this chapter is still in proces, but I am dreaming of what's to come.

My prayer is that the world knows the enduring greatness of God in the person of Christ and that it glorifies Him- He is TRULY the answer to every questions. There is NO ONE like Him!

Lord awaken hearts to your love. Use us to testify to it that they may have "eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent."

Here's a great blog to check out and overlaps with my life: the blog of my boss and friend Matt Dean. I encourage you to read and hear what the Lord might say to you through him. He is very transparent as He shares about the journey for His family to Hong Kong and more. I hope to post on here very soon as well- with my thoughts from this journey as well. Just when I think things will slow down I'm blown away by how fast the days fly by. Just know that things are good. God is best. More to come...

Check out http://www.mattdean.blogspot.com

My Dear Friends-

I have something very important to share with you all, and I hate that it's through an email. Please know if I could be sitting with each of you, face to face, and sharing with you, that's the way I would have it. However, as much as we tried to protect that so you could hear on a personal level we ended up sharing this with our ministry as a whole last night and some of you know already.

First of all, thank you so much for investing in this ministry and my life through your words, finances, and encouragement. I have been a part of Grace Campus over the past, well, almost 9 years-- first as a student and then as staff. I am humbled to see all that God has done in me and through this ministry to change and influence lives for the kingdom. We have seen many come to Christ, grow as leaders, and answer the call on their lives for full time ministry, but more than that we have seen the glory of God in our midst. I stand in awe of HIM more today than when I first started.

After praying about this for more than a year, my boss, Matt Dean, and his wife April sensed a clear calling to move their family to Hong Kong, China. They shared this burden with me this summer, when I returned from Uganda, and immediately I sensed a peace and excitement about what God had for this ministry in Hong Kong and began to pray about what my part would be. (read more on their blog) I knew that this was something so much bigger than us that God would have to orchestrate it all- the details of what, why, how, when, and where. I began to pray and seek Him on these specifics for my life.

After sharing this burden and vision for ministry to university students in Hong Kong with the Grace Campus board of directors, church pastors, family, and staff team, we have made the decision to re-plant this ministry and our lives in Hong Kong. Our board of directors has given their approval and blessing, and we will establish Grace Campus Hong Kong in the summer of 2009.

Right now in Auburn, we are in conversation with several local church leaders regarding how we can be unified in this process as we continue to love and serve Auburn students by connecting them to the church. There is still a great sense of momentum on Auburn's campus. We are humbled to be a part of what He is doing here. I will maintain the relationships in ministry I have formed here until time to go to Hong Kong.

October 10-20, our staff team went to Hong Kong where we established multiple ministry partnerships, visited college campuses, made connections with several local churches, and volunteered with Passion's World Tour by the grace of God. What a humbling experience every conversation, connection and experience was! I left this vision trip anxious to be back in the place and the ministry that I feel He has been shaping in me to do. I know I am not the same because of what God has done in me over the last few months.

Here are the facts that motivate us to go: Hong Kong is uniquely positioned as a gateway city to mainland China. In Hong Kong, more than 100,000 university students across multiple campuses in live and study; about 20% of those students are from mainland China. Less than 5% of the 7.3 million people living in Hong Kong profess faith in Jesus.









For the most part, collegiate ministry is overlooked by the local Church in HK, but we believe this is one of the most strategic times to influence men and women as they determine their values and future direction. With great joy, we want to serve the Church by influencing the next generation to know and love Jesus Christ.

On November 20th, we will share the story at Encounter of how God has worked in our lives, and our process of walking into this next season of life together. This will be the next-to-last Encounter ever and I would LOVE to see you there hear the story He is writing before our very eyes- it's a story of Himself and His heart for His people. Knowing that His "light will shine when all else fades, never ending [His] glory goes beyond all fame." Jesus is the goal. He is worth everything. I am fully compelled and convinced that this is what He would have me to do, and this is what it looks like in my life to wholeheartedly follow my Jesus. I want to be a small part of what God's doing is Asia!

I covet your prayers and continued support, and I pray He gives you more of Himself in these days!

Held together by Him,
Katie

I would be blessed to hear your thoughts (you can respond to this email) and for you to pray towards these things:
-Comforting and challenging our students
-Preparing for this new Ministry and all that entails: learning the language, training, raising finances
-Praying against the fears that come along with it
-My personal commitment to go, that God would continue to burden me for the sake of vision- what it looks like to minister to college women in Hong Kong
-Richness in the Word, that He would shape me to look more like Himself- Some key scriptures: Romans 10, Luke 14:25-35 -

I am sad i havent been more consistent on here, but we have hardly
stopped the whole time here and our apt doesn't have Internet. I'm
actually writing this thru my iphone on email so bear with me!!

I can't explain all that has been happening these past few days. Our
time here will soon be done but I don't think I'll be able to get over
this growing burden for the students here that don't know the grace
God gives us that is life-changing. I can't believe my ears when I
hear the stories of how He is moving His people to accomplish
something bigger than us. I hope you will join us in lifting up the
students here. For those of you that have been to a passion event
recently you maybe familiar with their opening video that proclaims
the greatness of Jesus. I get chills and want to shout each time I see
it because I become overwhelmed by His greatness. (I think you can
check it out on Passion's myspace page.) I know the jist of the
message and how it proclaims Jesus is ALIVE and then to see it on the
screen in Chinese characters to proclaim His kingdom reality over His
people here brought me to tears. The spirit of desperation as we cried
out to God singing "remember your people, your children, your promise,
O God" and declaring His grace is enough broke my heart even more as I
too pleaded with the remnant of believers here to God to fulfill His
promise to redeem His people. Indescribable. I hope you will go to the
268blog.com and check it out. I can truly say the harvest is plenty
here and the workers are few. Let's ask the Lord of the harvest to
move us to where He could use each of us the best. God is moving and I
do not want to miss it.

Sent from my iPhone

After a LONG 24-30 hours of travelling we finally arrived in Hong Kong about 1000 at night. We took the train into the city and arrived at the Grand Blossom house where we have a little apartment to stay in. It's in the Hung Hom area of the city. The rooms are tiny but cozy. There are 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms... but enough boring details.

We got up the next morning and visited IECC where we heard a great message on Song of Solomon, ran into some old friends (a guy from Auburn and a lady who works w/ the staff of the english teaching trips that I've been on the past 2 summers) and are just trusting that He is placing people around us to be a part of our little story in God's amazing one. I am so humbled to be here and walking around in this city. I am typing this from a very familiar coffee shop, Pacific Coffee, in Festival Walk. (a ri-dic-a-lous-ly large mall). This is where we hung out often the past 2 summers. It feels strangely comfortable, even home-ish, to be here. I really love this place and all that is here. My heart is longing to see this place have more worshippers of Him. I know a few, but relative to the huge population, it's still only a few. Still He is moving and I am desperate to be a part of it.

Passion is this thursday. Please think of us as we seek to serve the people here. Pray that He would bring people to Himself and that they would see the hugeness of God. What we do know is that those who are in the church are often shallow and wavering in their faith. Pray people would show up and experience the reality of Him. Pray that I would also experience the reality of Him. I see my need for Him every moment. Even though I am glad to be here I know a place or a person will never do for me what my God does for me. I hope we all will see that HE is the adventure. Yes, I am on one right now. It is still overwhelming/surreal that we are here in HK, right in the middle of the semester, but even more so, HE REMAINS THE ADVENTURE. HE is what's exciting and seeing His hand all over this place is what keeps me going.

Can't wait to see what He has next... He is a good father who gives good gifts... ultimately Himself. Praise be to Him who sits on the throne and reigns over all and is in all.

These are pictures of the team, the entire camp, the covenant, the beauty, and the old friends... this was an amazing trip. It deepened my love for Asia, it caused me to grow as a leader in more ways than one. I can't believe what I have gotten to see and be a part of. Reconnecting with students from camp Hong Kong last year was incredible to continue to build on that foundation and go deeper with those girls. Now, I am so humbled to return to this place this next week for Passion Hong Kong and seeking out more opportunities to serve there... Please pray for our entire staff team that the Lord will reveal what our part in His big picture is... we'll be gone October 10-20!!

http://jaredandmer.wordpress.com/

i make a few appearances on this one, and it's so fun to do this trip to Hong Kong w/ some of my long time friends who know me best! What a blessing!

Please think of us as we go to Hong Kong and serve the kids at Pui Ying middle school...
More to come-

A few Thursdays ago we were in Uganda just getting started on our time in Bethany Village. I thought that the 3 of you who read this might enjoy a little peek into what our devotionals were like and you can help critique as well... Praying this blesses you-
ktb

thursday. may 22 camp bethany day 1 Enter into personal worship this morning by reading Psalm 145. Enjoy His presence by remaining in Him, abiding in His boundless unconditional love (John 15). Hopefully you are beginning to sense Him in a new fresh way. As the eyes of your heart behold Him and are filled with the beauty of Him let it affect your entire being. Delight in Him as your mind, will, and emotions change to reflect the glory of God. Meditate on His character in the last part of the chapter and let it change you- this is the power of Christ’s life, the Word, living and active in you. Sit a moment with your Jesus- the Great High Priest who holds all things together. Drop your worries and concerns and soak Him in- He’s working in you from the inside out…eager to pour out love on those around you our of the overflow of your love relationship with Him. Just be. And hear the challenge of Psalm 145:10-13 All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD, and all your saints (that’s you- you ARE a saint!) shall bless you! They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom (our hope of heaven!) and tell of your power, (HE IS I AM… through Him ALL things are possible) to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations. Proclaim the greatness of God to yourself. Proclaim His greatness to your team. Proclaim His greatness, His power, His kingdom that is everlasting, to the children, and they will proclaim His greatness to the next generation. Let your passion for Him be on display that they will want what you have. You are part of something bigger than yourself! Go out engulfed in the life-giving Spirit of God.


Here's our whole team packed into the Nkumwa House... Nkumwa means Sanctuary, or literally, Protected...




I pray that I am a part of something bigger, simply through putting His word on this blog, trusting that it never returns void. His word is eternal, and we must invest in eternal things: souls, prayer, and the Word. He is forever. I pray that we own our purpose to glorify God or we will never be satisfied with where we are at and remain lost as far as purpose if it doesn't begin and end with our Jesus.

More to come... Hope you will walk this journey with me!

coming in on the dock at Bethany Village to the Nile river to exploring the fishing village where refugees have settled into safety and a simple life - it's amazingly refreshing to be in God's creation where it's untouched by machines or business- unchanged beauty... sunsets... the big open space known as the "prayer place" and the water of Lake Victoria as far as you can see with a few fishermen casting out nets for the evening's supper...



Psalm 50:1 The Lord, the Mighty One, is God,
and he has spoken;
he has summoned all humanity
from where the sun rises to where it sets.
2 From Mount Zion, the perfection of beauty,
God shines in glorious radiance.

Isaiah 55:12-13"So you'll go out in joy,
you'll be led into a whole and complete life.
The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song.
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God." (the Message)

Why I loved Uganda...
::An amazing team! (more on that to come).
::Little Francis that lives in the Nkumwa house (in means "sanctuary"/"i am protected"
::Making clothes that weigh down your suitcase so you can leave it all behind. (I am proud of my tie-front pants and skirt !)
::Kids that instantly love you, no matter what- kinda like the Lord loves us (without condition or regret) and you get to experience that...
::Red Rover game Ugandan style... It's like red rover mixed with steal the bacon and tug of war, dancing, and singing. Play it.
::Deworming time at the medical clinic... got to see every kid in the school! (don't worry it's just a pill)
::A steaming hot shower thanks to a wood burning fire.
::Houses of kids and their leaders becoming like family
::Beautiful Faces.... see the next post as well...
::The biggest "white ant" mounds you've ever seen
::Ugandan skies...
::Unapologetic curiousity of the kids from surrounding villages- If you have a question or want to know more, seek it out! Explore!! You never know what you'll miss if you don't...
:: Passion Kampala Worship like you've never seen it- Who can doubt this Jesus IS ALIVE! He REALLY is- (watch the video clips from the event if you have a second, and if you want to get excited about Jesus, PLEASE PLEASE watch the Atlanta opening video) I pray that we continue to worship like it. He is something to celebrate!
::The faithfulness of Father is evidenced in nature, people, and His word- posted everywhere... Christ is present in Uganda- no doubt about it. And still there's more to Him.

Our team tasted and saw His goodness every moment and shared it together. Sometimes I wonder if the bread they broke together in Acts meant the bread of LIFE- Christ's LIFE, that is! I am so proud of our students for extending Christ to one anotherand to Uganda- HE, this BREAD, satisfies!!

In order to be glorifiers of God (our chief purpose begins continues and ends IN HIM- ) we must be fully satisfied in Him. He is always better- it's just a matter of whether I am choosing to acknowledge and receive His "betterness". Try Him out... take Him as His word -

He IS our portion that satisfies forever and ever. And ever. And ever...

Here are some of the beautiful faces we met over the past few weeks... The older girls are the ones the Lord used to sustain us with delicious food, then there's a few of us sitting around before we had our singing and Bible story time, the boy holding up his new backpack (really exciting to give these things away!), my face (sans makeup... that's the look there!) and more images of dancing and playing- activities that filled our time while in Bethany Village.

"Hear Us from Heaven" is a song that we sang at my church in Birmingham that really resonates with me in these days - as we cry out to Father for Him to bring revival that starts with us.

Lord, hear our cry - Come heal our land
Breath life into these dry and thirsty souls
Lord, hear our prayer - Forgive our sin
And as we call on Your name - Would You make this a place
For Your glory to dwell

Open the blind eyes Unlock the deaf ears
Come to Your people As we draw near
Hear us from heaven Touch our generation
We are Your people Crying out in desperation

Lord hear our song Your children worship
As we sing out Your praise
Would You make this a place for Your glory to dwell

Hear Us From Heaven,
Hear Us From Heaven,
Hear Us From Heaven (4x)

I too am desperate for Him to move- He always is moving but I long for in to dwell among us in full- like He promises in Revelation 21. I want my eyes to be full of eternal perspective- of the beauty of Christ that I can't even begin to comprehend.

Psalm 102 paints a great picture of this as well...

12But you, O LORD, are enthroned forever;
you are remembered throughout all generations.
...
15Nations will fear the name of the LORD,
and all the kings of the earth will fear your glory.
16For the LORD builds up Zion;
he appears in his glory; (can't wait for this!)
17he regards the prayer of the destitute
and does not despise their prayer.

...

18Let this be recorded for a generation to come,
so that a people yet to be created may praise the LORD: (He has His people in mind!)
19that he looked down from his holy height;
from heaven the LORD looked at the earth,
20to hear the groans of the prisoners,
to set free those who were doomed to die,
21that they may declare in Zion the name of the LORD, (our purpose- to glorify Him)
and in Jerusalem his praise,
22when peoples gather together,
and kingdoms, to worship the LORD.(can't wait for this either!! how beautiful it will be-)

25 Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,
and the heavens are the work of your hands.
26 They will perish, but you will remain; (thank goodness He is the same yesterday, today, and FOREVER)
they will all wear out like a garment.
You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,
27but you are the same, and your years have no end.
28 The children of your servants shall dwell secure;
their offspring shall be established before you.

This will always transform me- when I ponder heaven and all that is to come, I find myself praying for the Lord to come quickly- bring healing and restoration to your people, that ALL may know! It brings perspective everytime- looking to Jesus NEVER FAILS.

A word I use often is "sure"... it may be because what my dad says for "yes" but I just like it better than yes or the outrageously popular "yeah". I want to say what i mean and mean what i say. I want to do what I say I will do and be where I say I will be. I trust that this is the Lord in me, making me more like Jesus. In Christ I am trustworthy, dependable, giving, and genuine. I pray he takes this weak soul and manifests His character in my life.

"Sure" is like "yes" with emotion, conviction, and comfort in it. I want to REALLY mean it! And I do, to the best extent that I possibly can. Not joking. Not indifferent. Not wavering. Now without thought. Now without confidence.

JUST. SURE.

The Lord brought to my mind the word "guarantee" as I was wrestling with some UN-surety in my own life... which reminded me of the following verses, as I NEED, as His child, to KNOW, that HE is sure even when nothing else is. I heard it said once that moving frequently as a child can be as traumatic if not more so than the death of a parent. Children need a sure thing, a constant, if you will. I often find I am caught in the tension of living on earth with my only hope in heaven. It's not always easy... At the risk of sounding cheesy, I am going to have to mention the TV show Lost, because it really illustrated this. Desmond, in his conscious mind, was able to be in the past and the future, but this caused a great amount on confusion and disorientation. The physicist told him he must find a constant to connect the 2 worlds, thus uniting the past and the future. Wow. How much MORE, INFINITELY MORE, does Christ not only connect our two worlds, but give them PURPOSE and MEANING!? THEN we have peace in the reality of His holding ALL things together.

Eph. 1:11In him we have obtained (already!) an inheritance, having been predestined (that's definitely already!) according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.

13In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believedsealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

That's SURE - words like promised, and guarantee... it's already done, but not yet fully in our possession, also stated, we live our new life in Christ on this earth only because we are sealed by the Holy Spirit and when that does not seem enough we are reminded that He did not leave is with nothing, He left us, at the point of salvation, WITH HIS SPIRIT, a GUARANTEE (something that assures a particular outcome or condition) of our inheritance. We have it, but it's not fully ours.

What an anchor to my soul that is so prone to search to find something stable in a quickly crumbling world. I wrestle with this balance: how to live in the "already but not yet" that this passage describes:

2 Cor 5:
1For we know (sure!) that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, 3if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. 4For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed,

so that (phrase of purpose coming up here!!)

what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. (wow! It is HIS LIFE in the Spirit that conquers the flesh/mortality in us!)

(and the "how"- )

5He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a
guarantee.

6So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord,

7for we walk by faith, not by sight.

8Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

I pray that my groaning stops at longing to be fully with Christ and does not progress into complaining or pessimism. I don't want the enemy to steal my joy. This joy is found in delighting in the glorious supremacy of Jesus Christ. The One that is the same: yesterday, today, and forever.

2 Cor 1:18 As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No. 19For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I, was not Yes and No, but in him it is always Yes. 20For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. 21And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, 22and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.

Our being established in Christ is guaranteed by the fact that we HAVE His Spirit!

16That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace (God giving, us receiving) and be guaranteed to all his offspring—not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all,... Paul in Romans...

In faith we have the Spirit of Christ, our HELPER, that He left for us to testify to our being new creations. The Spirit IS our assurance, our testifier, our helper. When we feel stuck in the middle there is a SURE, constant Person who is Christ Jesus, guaranteed for eternity by His Spirit.

a little christmas fun... hope the reality of God in flesh in the form of Christ is powerful and humbling to you as it is to me.  Emmanuel - GOD is with us and in us!  

there's never going to be a day in the history of days that God's kingdom doesn't go forward...there's not really anything else that does that in life. - a conversation between louie giglio and matt redman

that's it. that is my confidence in these days. it lines up with who God is: He CAN'T stop loving His people - that's who He is. and LOVE CHANGES PEOPLE. It's the power that causes change in our lives - because we realize we are valuable to Him. our worth is caught up in the cross and we cannot deny His love, which is actively pursuing us.

the kingdom redemption and rescue is all around. it's all the places and events where Christ is reconciling hearts and situations to himself. His truth and life WILL prove faithful and real if we will take it by faith. i hope and pray i am an instrument in His hands. i trust i carry His life in me to communicate the gospel to whoever He places before me, and i am so glad that His life is the force and it's not all up to me.

God, move your kingdom forward before our eyes like never before.

i have gotten this question a lot from girls so i figured it was worth posting...

Christ is ALL and in ALL...

Hey! glad you wrote- it's means so much to me that you would even ask... this is something the Lord taught me this past year a lot about... I think the phrase 'guard your heart' comes from this:

Prov. 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.
This is the NASB version which i like b/c it shows the word guard to mean "watch over" the AMP version says be diligent over...
This is indeed important but i agree w/ you in that it has really been thrown around to the point that no one knows what it means anymore. anytime you make a theology out of one verse you usually end up frustrated or lost! I think it's very important to watch over your heart- to take care of it by renewing it to truth and asking the Lord to search and know it and change it when it's out of line... i think, especially with women, our temptation is to live by feelings and those feelings (i.e. having a crush on a guy or thinking there is something there when he has said nothing to you about it) and feelings move to a false reality. then you are totally on this roller coaster because you were not renewing your heart and mind to truth, but to your human feelings. (see romans 12:1-2)

I think we need to pick that Proverbs 4:23 verse apart according to scripture:
if you read about what the heart is and how that word is used in scripture it's usually the seat of our desire, it is "deceitful above all" and "God is greater than our heart" It's the part of us that is often what we feel and may not ALWAYS be in line w/ truth- that's why I John 3 says 16By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
19By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 21Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

so you see - people in their sin(flesh/self effort) can close their hearts (that's why we much be in touch with what God is doing in us individually, praying and asking Him to reveal any sin in our lives). When their heart, the container of the wellspring of life, is closed, they miss the gospel in their lives, and their hearts can even condemn them (this is one way we are deceived into believing lies), but we must REASSURE our hearts of what it true: (Remember when David tells is own soul: "Bless the Lord, Oh my Soul"?) that HE laid His life down for us, and His love is complete, perfect, abounding -

So we may often FEEL condemned, unworthy, unacceptable, or needy but TRUTH is what GOD says, regardless of how I feel.

All of our worth, significance, and acceptability comes totally 100% from Christ - and we must often (as I am choosing to do even today) cast our entire heart, all that we are, onto the love of Christ. That's why he said in John 15, "Abide in my love, remain in my love..." We throw ourselves in total trust and abandon into the life and love of Christ that He gives freely.

To NOT guard your heart is to allow those needs for love, acceptance, worth, security, etc... that only Christ can meet... to consume you instead of letting Christ meet them. It can be so subtle and that's why Proverbs reminds us to "be diligent" over our heart. When you look to ANY other source (whether guy or girl friends or family or school, etc...) above or outside of Christ you are not guarding your heart because your "wellspring of Life" will be dry if you are drinking from THE Living water.

Specifically, in relationships, it is to live in the reality of that relationship, not an imagined fantasy. (this is where the heart can deceive you into thinking it's more, or moving further along, etc, than what it actually is, and this is where the heartbreak often happens) It is to always look to Christ first and not to a person. When they disappoint you (they will) you look to Christ. When they ask too much of you (and you know when they do this) you don't give in because you find acceptance in Christ and not what you do for them. And when your heart is broken, you can survive that because all along your have cast your hope in Christ, not making that person an idol, or one from whom you receive your primary acceptance and love from. God is your primary provide for that need!

Here's a little more on the heart for you/ How you can practically guard your heart:

Phil 4:5 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Eph 1:19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

So, REJOICE, offer up your requests to Him, THANK HIM in faith for His deep love and acceptance towards you, know the Love of Christ (pursue intimacy with Him)... that you may be at peace (accepting His gift of Life to you) and full (complete, not lacking in anything) in Christ.

We, as children of God and believers in His power that lives and dwells in us, are called to live out of our fullness and Christ- the full heart, confident in Him alone, is the guarded heart.
Or at least that's the first step... when the wellspring of live isn't flowing... you'll know what to do. And it will always be a journey but it's a journey to intimacy with Christ that He is overjoyed to walk with you in.

Hope this helps,
and let me know if I could help you any further! If I can do anything at all for you (get together or whatever) let me know!
love
katie b

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V78mEMTB-tY

part 1 of a video from our trip to hong kong!

I feel like the Lord is definitely shouting through my circumstances and what's been going on:
2 weddings of couples where the pursuit of the bride we long distance yet totally consistent and committed (Orlando-Birmingham, and North Carolina - China!!) remind me of how He pursues us. The gospel really is too good to be true. It really is! Then I watched Diary of a Mad Black woman... on TBS... some hard stuff in there and pretty funny but there is definitely sacrificial love... LOVE is what breaks down walls... and it takes force to break down walls and love is the perfect power to do that! And then, I have heard the stories of people being in close relationship with friends where their Christ like love for one another- their effort in being intentional and not backing up brought about the love and life of Christ in such life changing ways that people are ruined for the present!! Lastly I watched my granddad weep at the foot of his wife of 64 years' bed as he has done for the last month and a half as he watches her slip more each day into the throws of dementia. Even when she pushes and cuts at him in her conscious moments, he comes everyday to the nursing home and looks for the good things about the day yet mourns the loss of the love of his life and his best friend as he's known her, dreaming of the day they can return home.

To sit and think that He takes pleasure in us because we are His- not because of what we do or accomplish- really it is a gift of grace! Even when we ignore the fact that He is pouring out to us! He has given it ALL! It is that grace that changes my life! It is so powerful that even though I have heard this before it's like I have heard it for the first time--that is the GOSPEL!

Do not despair or be discouraged- the Lord your God loves YOU for YOU and He is so committed to you knowing that. WE just have to open our eyes and see- He may be whispering or he may be screaming, but step back and look- He is in ALL things, declaring His glory and offering all He has that you may know Him.

This hymn just sealed it for me...

O LOVE THAT WILL NOT LET ME GO
(arr. by Jason Sears, orig. by George Matheson...)

1. O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
May richer, fuller be!

2. O light that follows all my way,
I yield my flickering flame
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
May brighter, fairer be.

O Love (that will not let me go)
That will not let me go
O love (that holds my trembling soul)
That holds my trembling soul
O Love (that will not let me go)
That will not let me go
O love (that heals and makes me whole)
That heals and makes me whole
O love love that will not let me go



-------------------------------
3. O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

4. O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.