ezekiel 36:26-27: I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.

It is my hope that I walk in the Spirit... and when I don't that same Spirit lets me know.

I want so badly to be in control, to control others, to control my life as a whole. Why? In the deepest part of me I become afraid that my efforts to attain self worth aren't good enough (ha, they aren't... they also are not God's best for me!) I am afraid "they" will find out that what "they" think affects me and matters to me. I am afraid that God won't come through.

Yet, He already has.

He has placed a new heart in me and these fleshy episodes are just ways that He continues to make the new heart a reality. Oh it can be painful, confusing, maybe even embarrassing when my flesh is on display, but it's so good- the redemption that comes after. The WHOLE Gospel in my life is that He's forgiven me (done deal) but He's saved me from my self- my need to be in control- my need to be god. A lot of the time this is the core of sin: I have to be as god... and I will do what it takes to stay on my throne. Hm.

And then that failure comes, the rejection, the weakness is all made plain. So I turn to Him- He really is all I have and need. He is the Only One who can help! And like I said, He's making this new Heart in me a reality:

The most recent phrase I heard at church that so resonated with my God-given heart:

"Nothing is more uncongruent with grace than ungraciousness"
(Bob Flayhart)

We talkd about how often the "good christian" is praised for how much he reads, he prays, he attends church..." SICKENING! If he has not LOVE he is NOTHING!!!

It just highlights how God has been moving me to the heart of the gospel-
How do I regard life? How do I regard others? The gospel has a lot to say about this.
I have found that the more that I understand the gospel of grace in my life and the acceptance poured out on me, the more I can accept others. Everyone has their vices and carries their pain and such in different ways.

How do I see the disabled? The "sinners" ? The imprisoned?

The people that get on my nerves?

(and the conviction comes)

Their lives are just as valuable. I cannot place myself above them for Christ paid the same price for them. My worth (again) is not because I did or didn't do something they did, or because I am "better" than them... that's self righteousness and that's buying into the lie that I can create my own worth. My own existence.

I want to walk in the Spirit, where He is constantly meeting my needs so I am full of Him.
THEN I can love out of my fullness. Then I can hear His heart beating in me for His people. Out of what He's given, I can love without needing anything back because He is enough.

The Kingdom is coming little by little, one person at a time, through acceptance an compassion straight from the heart of Jesus in you and in me. Let HIM love you, let HIM love them. (Yes, Even "that person" :)

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001199.cfm

this is an article that i found quite perplexing, but with some interesting points...

did you know they imprisoned men who didn't marry a long time ago?

"John Calvin intimated that any man who, without the gift of continence, failed to marry was guilty of stealing a husband from a wife.”

i like things that kinda stretch my thinking a little... (or a lot in this case)

i'm not perfect (I know someone who Is)
i definitely don't have it together (For IN HIM all things hold together...)
i can be faithless, prone to be fearful (but when I am faithless HE is FaithFUL, when I am weak HE is strong)
i think i have to deliver myself from this body of flesh (We have ONE redeemer, savior, deliverer named Jesus Christ! )

Ever have a day when you just want to stay in bed? Hide? RUN? Something to not deal with your stuff, to not see your weakness? Where's the glory in that?

God is all over this one!

He wants MORE for us! He wants us to not be satisfied on seeds, but to sow into the truth we so often talk about so He can give us the big delicious fruit! I like fruit better than seeds myself, but it's just the waiting part I do not like. I think the Lord is showing me that even the seeds don't satisfy... they are just shadows of the real deal. i am actually getting ill because of all these seeds in my belly- that is NOT where they belong!

And life is full of waiting. Depending. These can be good things when the One we are waiting and depending on is Him.

As the Lover of our soul writes our story He takes the imperfection and redeems it to perfection, the ugliness He makes beautiful, the disappointment He can turn to hope. He is writing redemption into all our stories if we will just stop and let Him.

Why is it so painful? We are experiencing little deaths each time the resurrections happen in our life... but how incredible is resurrection? God is working death BACKWARDS! He is springing up new life--HIS life and it's beautiful and painful and pleasureable and joyful and tough all in the same moment. Each time a part of the "old Katie/fleshly Katie" dies, He springs up new life in it's place.
This is what he's working towards:

Revelation 21:3-And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, (G)the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will (H)dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them[a],
4and He will (I)wipe away every tear from their eyes; and (J)there will no longer be any death; (K)there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; (L)the first things have passed away."
5And (M)He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am (N)making all things new " And He said, "Write, for (O)these words are faithful and true."

...And somehow, we are seated in Christ at the right hand of the Father participating in this...too much to comprehend, isn't it!?!

Romans 6:3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection

2 Cor 5:17Therefore if anyone is (A)in Christ, he is (B)a new creature; (C)the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. .

Colossians 3:1
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ,
set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
4When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

I NEED to know this! I NEED TO KNOW that Jesus Christ is my life- and it's no longer I who lives but HE Lives in me! And when I try to let the old, dead me live it's chaos and frustration. Real abundand life is in Him alone.

Please SOW into this truth so that the beautiful attractive fruit is seen by this world who desperately needs THE Redeemer- He obviously desires to be this for us: what more could He do to demonstrate that He wants a relationship with us: to fill our deepest longing and that is an intimate perfect relationship with One who will never leave or forsake us. HE will do it.

a burden of my heart is for people to know that all their needs can be met in Christ Jesus: then they are free from seeking out other methods to control their world and to make the counterfeit self worth that is actually so empty.

we were MADE to look to an outside source for love and acceptance, worth and security, and Jesus is the only One who is capable of satisfying these needs, even though we try many other methods. From the outward sins of being hateful, substance abuse, etc to ones that may even look good to the Christian community (finding worth in how well "versed" you are or how many profound things you can say) yeilding themselves to self righteousness (idol: making yourself God by getting your righteousness from what you can think or how you can put others down) to diving into a holy huddle because that's where you feel most comfortable yet not allowing Jesus to change your heart - still depending on self to make self feel "good"

Well you know what feels GREAT?
Allowing the life of Christ to live thourgh you and love others.
To testify to being a part of a life that was changed by the gospel of glorious Grace.
To get to tell someone about the gospel and see the relief in their eyes that they are not accepted on the basis of their works, that their works will never be enough, and that Christ not only loves them but he LIKES them, that their story is one deserving of being heard, that they are not a lost cause.

And a GREAT way to know and experience Jesus is to walk in faith, believing that He is loving and LIKING people through you.

“Quit praying about yourself and spend your life for the sake of others as the bondservant of Jesus. That is the true meaning of being broken and poured-out wine in real life.“ - Oswald Chambers (July 15)

lord what would you have me do today to welcome the flow of your life through me? thank you that you are enough and i am complete in You alone. who needs your love, your hug, your listening ear, your acceptance today that they may live for your glory and that you will be seen on this earth a little more tomorrow? open my eyes to see those who are hungry for you- you are worth sharing!

...in a moment of weakness I sat and watched the bachelor. A handsome doctor from Nashville greets 25 women in from of a "chateau" in Paris and tries to narrow it down to 12. There was one girl in particular that probably got everyone's attention: This girl told him first and foremost her goal is to come out of this deal to reproduce.

Hold up.

Did she just say that? What happened to love? What is true love anyway? I think the bach. himself put it best when he told her she was putting the cart before the horse. How does she see relationships? A necessary means to getting what she wants?

Hmm. How often do we maintain friendships our relationships to get what we want for ourselves is the opposite of what I think God made relationships for.

How disheartening would it be to find that someone married you just so they could have your kids, or someone befriended you just so they would ride in your car (ha. right) or just so they could get in with your other friends. . . had an eye on someone else? All that is entering into a relationship for selfish reasons, and then it's a big cycle of being disappointed, and sucking the life out of one another, never experiencing what true love is meant to be (from God's perspective, of course!).

He pursues us because He loves us, in fact, He IS love! It just pours out of Him and onto us if we will just receive it. He didn't call us His children for us to serve Him, to do things FOR Him, or so that He could get something out of us. (Although these are honorable things when done with a pure heart).

It is simply the nature of God to LOVE. And I think He has set a precedent for relationships through that. I enjoy a relationship most when I find I have the ability to make the other person happy. It's not about getting my needs met (such and the need to feel loved, accepted, significant, etc) but it's about receiving from Love Himself and out of that fullness giving in with great joy to those around me. And somehow I am gratified even more when a face lights up or a heart is changed. I think God feels the same way. How exhausting is it to try and draw out of a human what only GOD can do? So often we find ourselves waiting on what we can get or how we can please someone because we are deceiving, thinking that we need their approval. God says that's backwords. It's idols.

There is no better life than one that is lived unto God. Face to face with the creator of the universe. It brings perspective to this life so that we don't sweat the small stuff and are freed up to enjoy the fullness of joy in His presense and loving people because He first loved us-in a magnificent indescribable out of the box kind of way.

Lord You are better than all this world has to offer...

"God's word is not meant to build up our theology but to change our reality." -Beth Moore

This world is fleeting and it's small in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason God chose to become small in intervene in our lives.

He actually is pursuing you now- in this moment- and in many others if you just stop and look.

Is your life bringing you hard times? Desperate times? HE wants you to ask Him for help. He wants to rescue you. He wants to give you a sense of the fact, the truth, the REALITY that HE is your reality! He is creating a dependent relationship between you and Himself and He's using the tough times to do it. What do you have to lose? Choose HIM! Stop fighting the process He's taking you through and surrender to Him. Can you really afford to go through life without Him?

HE is your peace, your guide, your provider, your lover, your stronghold. your refuge, your rock, your Father, who loves you with a perfect love. He wants to express that to you and so He is allowing brokenness in your life (or possibly extravangant blessing, who knows?) to get to the heart of the matter:

YOU and I NEED JESUS.
You and I need the life of Jesus to be our reality: our Living, Breathing REALITY! He is alive in you and me who have surrendered our lives to Him, saying, "do whatever- to me, in me, through me, because I know you love me and your ways are best" We can't escape it, although we try to think that all we can see is reality... well, why do you think the Bible talks so much about faith?

When you go to the word, and to see how God works, and you read the letters about miracles and how the spiritual life is what will exist for eternit, and what has always been before the foundations of time- don't you see that HE is reality. That to focus on Him is true life?

Yes, we live here on this earth with "ordinary jobs, ordinary lives, and some not so ordinary" but the joy comes in seeing Reality Himself in all... and allowing Him to express Himself through the fruit in our lives at all times.

That's what makes an ordinary life not so ordinary. Living in the extraordinary presence of Jesus. Listening to the indwelling Word who speaks in numerous ways- we could not be convinced of the "other" reality if we didn't.

Walk in faith, not by sight, finding in His presence is the Fullness of Joy. . . no other life will bring what He brings.

Here is a sermon i heard right before Christmas at my church here: OMPC.org you can read the transcript in it's entirety and listen to it as well. All quotes from Bob Flayhart. What powerful truth this is: the name of the sermon? "it's a wonderful life" as in that movie :) Many are disillusioned with the Christian life- well this says it so well. The catch to experiencing it is abiding/appropriating whatever you wanna call it. Enjoy !

http://resources.christianity.com/details/ompc/20051219/df351746-b3e9-4159-8c20-8568385ebe3f.aspx

do yourself a huge favor and listen to this sermon a few times.
it's incredible!
it talks about appropriating what is ours in Christ:

“How do we experience the wonderful life? In the midst of our confusion, in the midst of our suffering, in the midst of our trials, how do we experience the wonderful life? And the answer is very simple—three words—three words that I want ringing in your ears: “experience through appropriation”. Remember it, and write it down. “Experience through appropriation”. What is appropriation? To appropriate something means to lay claim to it. It means to personally cause it to come to you. For instance, we—most of us—have bank accounts. If we were to drive down to the bank, and we brought our checkbook and wrote out a check to cash, and we asked for the money, that would be appropriating our money. There is a storehouse of money in the bank, some of which is actually ours. We can lay claim to it. We can withdraw it whenever we need it, whenever we want it. Now, how silly would it be as the teller handed me the cash and I held it in my hands, and I said, “Please, give me my cash.” She’d look at me like I was losing it! She’d say, “What do you mean? You have your cash in your hand.” And I say, “Well, I don’t feel it.” Or I close my eyes, and say, “I don’t see it. I can’t hear it.” Would I be appropriating my money? No, at that point, I would not be. Appropriation means that you lay claim and take what is actually promised you, and you live out of that reality. That is how we experience the wonderful life. With a believing heart, through believing prayer, we approach the spiritual bank whose name is Christ, Who purchased for us, by His life, through His death, and in His resurrection, every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm. If you are a Christian, every blessing Christ has purchased for you is already yours, but it will never be real in your experience unless you personally, by faith, with a believing heart, appropriate it, and claim it to be yours, and believe that as you ask for withdrawals, Jesus always will grant what He has purchased for you.Three elements of the wonderful life of Christ that we are to appropriate so that we can truly say, not just during Christmas, but every time of the year, no matter what kind of circumstances we’re facing, it truly is a wonderful life.First of all, Experience the Wonderful Life by Appropriating the Child’s Love.

...The love of God is constantly bestowing gifts. Look at the gifts—look at verse 3—a light has shined, joy is increased. Undeserved blessings are being showered out upon us because of what Christ has done. But guess what? You and I will never experience the reality of what is actually happening, unless we appropriate that mercy and grace. You will continue to live in self-condemnation, in debilitating guilt, in self-contempt, unless you begin to appropriate with a believing heart, the mercy and love that is actually yours in the gospel. You can be a Christian, saved from eternal damnation, and not be experiencing the reality of the mercy and grace of God. Why? You are living in unbelief, and you are failing to appropriate the mercy and grace that is, in fact, yours...

..We have a God Who does wonders. We have a God who desires to do wonders in our lives, but that power and those wonders are experienced by appropriating. We tap into the power of Christ by faith. Now, you can call this whatever you want. You can call it abiding in Christ. You can call it the Spirit-filled life. You can call it running to the cross. You can call it looking to Jesus. I don’t care about the vocabulary, but you and I don’t tap into the power of God automatically. The power of God is there. It is like a plug, but we tap into the energy, and we do that by faith. We do that by personally trusting the promises of God, by personally appropriating the resources that Christ says are in fact ours. So what things are you facing this Advent that are the Midianites in your life? Where are you facing enemies where you are 450 to 1 ratio? What is in your life right now that is God-sized—way beyond human capability? They have been brought into your life that you might experience the wonder of the power of Christ. The scriptures are filled with God’s power delivering His people rather than their own competency delivering themselves. One of the most ironic elements of “The Chronicles of Narnia” movie—the day before we all saw it, Michael, my youngest son, and I were talking about Joshua chapter 10. There is another battle there; it is the battle with the Amorites. Michael had asked me if I remembered where the story was where God caused stones to fall from heaven, so that more of the enemy were killed by the falling stones than were killed by the swords of the Israelites. And I said, “Yeah, that’s in Joshua 10. That’s the battle of the Amorites.” We talked about how isn’t that so like God to want us to trust Him and His power to do things for us that He doesn’t intend for us to do for ourselves. Well, we get to the movie, and in the great battle scene where Peter and his armies of Narnia are going against the White Witch, and her hoards, great, big, gigantic birds are flying over the battlefield, and in their talons, they have great big rocks, and at Peter’s command, they are let loose and unleashed on the enemy. These rocks are causing the demonic beings to just be slaughtered. I thought, “What a picture in the world of imagination, of A) what happened in Joshua chapter 10, but B), what happens in our lives every day, as we appropriate the power of the gospel.” We may not see winged birds, but if we had spiritual eyes, could we see winged angels, dropping stones on all of our enemies, so that God is clearing a path upon which our feet can walk. Do you feel powerless? Then it is probably that you are not experiencing the wonderful life by appropriating the resources of Christ. We abide in Christ by faith. We are filled with the power of the Holy Spirit by faith, with a believing heart, we go to the treasure source of Christ, and we claim the power that is already ours, and whether we feel it, whether we see it, whether we smell it, whether we hear it, does not matter. We believe that we have been given what we have appropriated, and we move on, confident of the power of God in our lives. Experience through appropriation...

Look at verse 3. “As the farmer rejoices at the harvest”—now again, most of us are not farmers, so we have a hard time understanding the wonder of this passage. How does a farmer rejoice at the harvest? “Wow! No more fear of storms! Wow! No more fear of drought! Wow! No more fear of animals killing my crop! Wow! It’s done! The crop is in the barn! We are safe! Imagine the joy of the farmer, rejoicing at harvest, and in the midst of our darkness, in the midst of our gloom, in the midst of our struggles, we are supposed to believe and appropriate the victory that has already been won for us by Christ. Look at the second part of verse 3. “As the soldier rejoices in dividing the spoil”, what does that mean? The victory has been won, the battle is over, the enemy is defeated, and they are in retreat. When I feel incredibly attacked by the Devil, I’m to appropriate Christ’s victory over Satan on the cross. Whether I feel it, whether I smell it, whether I hear it, whether I taste it, whether I touch it, it doesn’t matter. I’m to appropriate it, as an act of faith.Look at verse 7. “Of the increase of His government and peace, there will be no end.” We are to continually believe that as we appropriate the wondrous work of Christ, his work in us will continue, and increase, but not only in us—in this world, the gospel and the Kingdom will continue to expand and spread and bring forth fruit. If you are a Christian, the victory is already yours. But are you appropriating that victory by faith? ...

A classic illustration—The Promised Land. Why is it called that? Because it was land that God promised Israel. It was theirs. God gave it to them. It was assuredly guaranteed, but what did they have to do? They had to appropriate it. They had to enter the land physically, trusting in God, they had to fight the battles, though God fought most of the battles for them, and they had to claim that which was already promised. That is exactly the Christian life. We have been promised all kinds of mercies, graces, powers, and victories. The gospel is our promised land.

The wondrous Child is our promised land, and in Him are all the resources and riches that we could ever want or desire, but they must be appropriated to be experienced...

Can I just say that Jesus blessed me this Christmas... I had a great time with my family. I didn't have to work on Christmas. I got to see old friends. It was great!

What did He do in my heart?

Well, as Always I have found that He is calling me to trust Him without question, to walk by faith not by sight, even when the world is screaming the opposite. I have to stand on the word that He is faithful:
Psalm 121... I look to the hills- where does my help come from? It comes from the Lord! the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

I take this word as truth and as a promise to me! This is my Lord, my precious Lord who continues to amaze me in how He romances me...

He used this Christmas to put me in awe of the fact that HE is REAL!
He produced in my heart a quiet confidence and realization of how necessary it was that He would come to earth. It's not a fairy tale. It's not to give us a reason to have a holiday. It's for His glory and to demonstrate His love for us!

He could have stayed and left us to our own choices. He could have removed himself and not finished the work of the cross. Oh the wonder of a newborn baby, fully God and fully man!

A scripture came alive to me when a few of my friends came over and we practiced to lead our sunday school class in worship for the Christmas party. We decided to read scripture throughout the set and one line just hit me hard:

1After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi[a] from the east came to Jerusalem 2and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east[b] and have come to worship him." ...

9After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east[e] went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and
they bowed down and worshiped him.


Can you imagine the anticipation the Magi had going to seek out this king?? Can you imagine what it was like to know you are about to encounter God in the flesh? Are you overjoyed at the "stars" all around us/ signs that Jesus is there/fruit of Him living His life in and through you and others?

What if you were there at this scene. What release it would be to throw down that frankinsense and fall on your face and worship him! God himself! Here on earth: Wow!!

He is real. He is a person. And He is JUST AS REAL TODAY as His birth was 2000 years ago.
I am floored. If that birth is real... if those few chapters in the Bible describing it are real, then what about the rest of the story!

Dont you see? There is purpose in Jesus. He came for a purpose, He IS my purpose.
There is love displayed in Jesus. He came to love. He IS love.
There is GLORY in Jesus. He came to bring Glory to Father. He is glory!

And this powerful One lives in you and me by faith! He is just as real as that precious baby! Breath of heaven. I can't help but love Him.

I just finished "She's out of Control" by Kristen Billerbeck. Yes, I read a "chick lit" book. It's about this 31 year old girl Ashley who is a lawyer in California and her crazy life as a single lawyer, her singles Sunday school class (they call themselves the Reasons... hahaha) and her crazy love life... As a wonderful man comes after her heart she feels herself starting to fall and is afraid but she finally surrenders and says this:

...I'm still thinking about life. I'm thinking that living out loud means living truthfully. Not just in my faith and deeds but in my emotions. We live in a world where it's safer to protect your heart from disasters... but you know what? The Bible also says to live free of fear, that fear doesn't come from the Lord. I look it up in 1 John, just to make sure, and there is is: 'There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear...the one who fears is not made perfect in love"

[and we all know that emotions spawn from what we are believing... I think she's saying bring your emotions to truth... For example if you are feeling fear,(p.s. I think fear causes us to miss out), investigate that and receive the truth that the Lord is in control...]

So you're free to take that leap of faith: the reality is you ARE out of control it's just a matter of if you acknowledge it or not. It's just a matter of if you acknowledge that God IS in control and you yield to His guidance. He does love you! And as Ashley lets her heart go...

Jumping off the cliff is how you feel the hand of God underneath you.

Moses himself said: "the eternal God is a dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms." What are we afraid of? Who better to trust our hearts and lives to than the Everlasting Arms... strong and dependable and eternal. Powerful and loving. We have nothing to hide and our shame does not define us: Jesus Christ does!

It's a vulnerable spot to be in, jumping off a cliff. Maybe crazy to some, in fact, only a fool in love would do it. But oh to love and be loved so much that you can trust Him enough to take the plunge, believing fully that His outstretched arms were there all along. It may look crazy to the world but no one knows us better than our Creator. We have our little secrets, you know. We know each other. I can trust Him because I know His character and boy does He know mine.

This life can hurt and sometimes we try to stop it for fear of failure or just plain fear. We withdraw because we think the 'ouch' is just around the corner. Perfect love drives OUT fear! "...many of life's mysteries are beyond our understanding. God's grace equips us to trust in His sovereign control. Our faith then frees us from wallowing in constant frustration, confusion and self doubt. We can walk in His faithfulness and trust His ways even when they aren't our way" (Steve mcvey)

I pray that God continues to open my heart to Him to the point that I ask no questions but simply follow Him... let Him carry me in fact. No fear because why? Perfect love! I want to continue to fall deeply in love with Him- how fulfilling is that to yield control to the One who is deeply in love with me?! I hope your heart leaps like mine at this pursuit of which we are the recipients!!

Holy, You are Still Holy
Even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, you are still Sovereign
Even when confusion has blinded my eyes

Lord, I dont deserve your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection of your Love

So I come into your chambers and I dance at your feet Lord
you are my savior and i'm at your mercy
all that has been in my life until now
Belongs to you, for you are still holy.

holy you are still holy even when i dont understand your ways
sovereign, you are still Sovereign even when my circumstances dont
change
Lord i dont deserve your tender patience when my unbelief has kept me from
your truth
i want my life to be a sweet devotion to you

I love these lyrics (rita springer again)
Showing the value of His presence. Nothing can change who He is... it may feel like He is not good, but He is and that's our security in know the character of God. He is the hope we have.

This is your Life- Your one and only life. And He wants to be a part of every bit of it. It's His after all- He gives each moment for enjoyment of you for His glory. There's a beautiful tension there- it's called relationship- communication is the food of it.

Lord by your mercy expose my unbelief so that I don't miss another second of you! Make me weak in my mind so that I may live in constant awareness of the heartbeat of your spirit!

i remember when rita springer came to encounter and in her lyrics she changed a few words which made them all the more applicable:

i want the joy of the Lord to come down, i want the joy of the Lord to fall down, i want the joy of the Lord in my life
i want the joy of the Lord to lift me ... to change me... in my life...

...and it's time we started DANCING over all these graves
and it's time we give you , o my God, the highest praise
it's time to lift our voice; we're gonna beg for the blessing to fall...

and the cool part:
...and it's time we started DANCING OVER ALL THIS JUNK!

graves = junk.... things that bring death is just the trash of sin and distraction (idols) in our lives and satan will do anything to convince us to think on our circumstances, our selves and miss the whole point:

we MUST RELY on BELIEVE in DEPEND on
JESUS
for EVERYTHING!

I want the JOY of the LORD to change me and move me, not the happiness of cool THINGS, not because things are going "my way" to drive me and me what lifts my spirit. I want Jesus to do that. (Now of course there are millions of ways He can do this and you can recognize it's from Him) But is He not in all things?? Give Him the glory and credit!

And if He is in all things, what about the bad that happens to His children? I think He's in those as well. Have you read Job? ("consider my servant Job...") You are not a slave to your stuff... it doesn't have to control you. People do not have power over you- you are controlled by the Spirit of the Living God who moves in and through you!



Proverbs 20
30Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts.
Proverbs 21
1The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will.

The Spirit of God is a river of Life inside of you!
The Spirit of God is purifying and life changing. Live in Him. He is reality. Just a moment in His presence makes all other things seem so small. And we carry His presence with us always- it's just a matter of acknowledging it.


Junk is meant to be stomped on, danced over, and lived above.
Who wants to wallow around in it? You and I don't have to do that , you know!
Is that not why we enjoy worship so much? We escape the junk- We may even forget about it for awhile. Because in His presence is the fullness of joy. It's not the worship that does it in and of itself. It's HIM.

In HIS PRESENCE is the fullness of joy. And He is always present. We just have to choose to live there! Seated in Christ at the right hand of the Father. At rest. Rest and peace for the soul is found only in the finished work of Christ at the Cross- it's done.
And that's victory. True victory for this life and the one to come.

"...What is needed, then, is to see God in everything, and to receive everything directly from His hands, with no intervention of second causes (such as other human beings). And it is just to this that we must be brought, before we can know an abiding experience of entire abandonment and perfect trust. Our abandonment must be to God, not to man, and our trust must be in Him,not in any arm of flesh, or we shall fail at the first trial" (Hannah whitall smith)

Not only is there joy in His presence but there is power... Power to live by faith alone and to declare that He is better and I'd rather have Him than anything here. Believing this frees us to accept all things that happen as things from Father meant for good because HE is good.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, (have you felt your world fall apart??) and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though the waters thereof roar and be troubled; (aren't there plenty of storms to go around??) though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.
I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in Him will I trust. Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisesome pestilence. He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust. His truth shall by thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night, nor for the arrow that flieth by day,nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness, nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday...(Psalm 46)

Is He not powerful? Is He not in control? Does He not love you dangerously and passionately?

I believe He does. Just ask Him. Everything that comes to you is an opportunity to dive in to the treasure of Jesus that awaits you.

Don't let your mind deceive you. Don't try to outsmart Him- you can't. Logic distracts but faith rescues and restores and transforms you in your mind who you already are in spirit: a new creation for the glory of an indescribable God.

I am just gonna repost something from the summer that I need to chew on again... More to come:) This lesson is taking on another face for me, but here's the first verse.

Monday, July 25, 2005
How you livin'? The SPIRIT of the GOSPEL
Are you living out of your IDENTITY in Christ or on your old thought patterns?Wanna know how to transform your mind? Put on Christ! He has given you a new heart (Ez. 36:26) that's alive to God. You are no longer a slave to sin. You are a slave to RIGHTEOUSNESS: that's your nature... your identity. Jack Taylor said something to the effect of this: being weak in your mind makes the truths of your identity precious. Oh wow, how the Lord has made this truth to me! The more I surrender what I think about things and ask the Lord to reveal the reality of the gospel... well, HE does it! The truth of who I am in Christ sets me free. One thing that gets me a lot is a judgmental mindframe, but the more I recognize that I am totally accepted in Christ the more I no longer have to think of ways to form my own sense of worth...Ultimately by belittling others! YUCK! He has given me total worth and acceptance and I know longer have to live out of my mind. I live out of my Spirit... My identity... And then my mind is transformed by that. Then, when a judgmental thought comes "I am so much more intimate with God than she is" I can take it captive: because the word says that we are not to judge and that we are ALL accepted not by what we do... And God sees the heart (I know I cannot) and ultimately because I am a child of God, and a righteous one at that. So since a righteous person does not think like that, then who's thought was that? Not mine! I refuse to take that as my own and reject this lie; Knowing that "she" is loved and accepted without condition. Knowing that none of us can get any closer or intimate with God that we already are, that thought is a lie, and I refuse to puff my own opinion up of myself (thinking I'm 'better than') to feel good. That's a cheap quick fix. Father offers wholeness and love regardless of my understanding of it or not! Praise God- I am not a judgmental person but a loving person in Christ. So how am I livin? Well, we are similar to a temple on the old testament days. Looking from the outside you can see the walls (like our physical body: plain to the eye) and the outer courts- what makes up our body or our "members" then comes the Holy Place (this is like our soul: our mind will and emotions and what we operated out of before Christ gave us His life. This part is being progressively renewed to truth and changed/sanctified) and the innermost part is the Holy of Holies, separated by a curtain or veil where the Lord resides (this is like our Spirit- where we receive our identity at salvation).The problem is when we were born our spirit was dead to God- we had no other option but to live out of the soul (out of the strength of our minds and how we perceived the world from day one- as twisted as that view may be). We use logic and our own will to make life work. Once we become saved our spirit is reborn (we are a new creation) and we now have Christ as our source. We no longer have to figure out life on our own! He is all sufficient! The sad thing is we had become so comfortable living in and out of our mind we don't realize the freedom that's behind that curtain. Christ, the High priest, actually came to tear that curtain and invite us to intimacy/union/oneness with Him. But our free will (he's not gonna force us to love him or seek him) may continue to live/find life out of the mind. Thank goodness he is faithful to break us, to bring us to dependence on Him where we see that the mind is not sufficient but he is all sufficient. (Some it may take longer than others, sadly b/c some of us are really good at using our own thinking.)Good news: He has torn down the barrier by totally paying the price for our sin (no debts owed by you or me) and giving us His life (residing in our spirit: our own Holy of Holies) and renewing our mind to the truth of our identity. THEN our mind is transformed and we live life out of the Spirit... The truths of our identity penetrate our thinking and we can surrender to HIM, knowing that just when I can't figure it out on my own, He is enough and He gives me His perspective--His godly wisdom, and Christ is my ultimate focus. He has given me all I need in Him. My TRUE identity. My TRUE nature. Progressively, my thinking becomes more in line with His, more often my feelings line up with the truth and I stand changed: More like Christ, in whom Father finds great delight- living in His rest and peace and enjoying eternity today. What a gift the gospel is! Who else but God could give a heart message that changes you daily, frees you daily, and ultimately LOVES you daily and meets every need in Christ Jesus?!!

susan was there...




mom and dad were there...
tommy was there...
toilet paper was, um, EVERYWHERE!
probably about a million bajillion people were there....
Auburn was (and is and always will be) the place to be and the bajillion folks were all at cracker barrel the next morning when we wanted to eat a peaceful breakfast... imagine waiting 45 minutes at 10 am ???

WAR EAGLE anyway! There's nothing like the Auburn Family.

tiger walk with none other than my fantastic white house girls!
here are some more of them...jeannie, rambo, laura beth
me and my beautiful sister, Grace toughed it out in the [bama] section...



More to come...

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Katie B |

you know why i think total grace freaks everyone one out?
because i think living in total grace is also living by total faith. B-l-i-n-d. f-a-i-t-h.

so, there isn't always a blue-print to life. there can't be! you never know what's to come... if this winter will be a cold one, if you find out life changing news or you are in the clear for a while... the "plan" is fluid: moving and changing. it's one thing to prepare- another to plan and bank on something.

there isn't always black and white. see, we like black and white and love the law because then we can follow what WE know to do instead of depending on Father for what He wants us to do, and that's faith. Following the law and living life in general without faith is as filthy rags (i wont say on here what those rags are but they are really really gross and filthy). Our own attempts at righteousness are gross compared to what He wants to do through us: and if it's in faith it shows forth as gold.

I think He wants us to live in total dependence on Him... Lord what would You have me do. Lord what is your heart for me in this moment.

It's still about RELATIONSHIP! (that's abiding, right? remaining in His love! JOhn 15)

Now don't make a law out of this!
"I have to brush my teeth in faith, oh i don't think I did it. God i'm so sorry- aah!"
To me that comment sounds like I am having faith in myself to have faith. Kinda backwards. Kinda focused on my performance. You have to realize (I have to believe this too) that the measure of faith we have is even a gift from God (we have RECEIVED it from Him alone) and we couldn't have it apart from Him. Faith and trust facilitate relationship... and that is ultimately what He wants!

If I am in a relationship with someone, one of the worst feelings is to not feel trusted... another close second is for the other person to not believe in me, or not to think that I would come through for them. A relationship is so incredble when you share life- the little and big things and to can depend on the other person to support you, guide you, feed your ideas, like how you think, make you smile. See, God does this for me! It's just taken years for me to surrender and give up my own gross efforts to let Him do it and Him live gently and uniquely through me.

If life becomes more about "being right" or "doing the right thing" then we've missed the point. It's about a relationship, or should I say, THE relationship! There's a grander bigger story!

Well how do I know what to do? Well the doing is a result of your BEING.
Being in His presense and Hearing Him
Being who He has called you and declared you: Holy, Righteous, Blameless in Christ alone
Being a branch attached to a vine that is more powerful and fruitful than you could ever be alone

Just BE.
Just trust God and that it's not about doing the right thing (there's no Life in checking off a list but there is in a living, breathing relationship!)
so you can be someone (because as a believer you already are those things),
but you do things because it's who you are created to be... it's natural.

Oh there are so many rabbit trails to take from Here but I have been so excited about How God works and How He simplifies things for me.

I CRAVE a blue print for my life because it's easy and because my flesh is to want to take over and be in control instead of yielding all power and decision to Him. I wanna make plans and look to those but lately i find Him letting me just dream. Today He wants to stir my passion and affections for Himself. He wants me to sit [rest] and feast and not worry about the dishes, ha, or the scale.

I dream and think but I dont make plans. It's not time and I can rest in that because Life in me will clue me in when it is time. The question is:

Katie, Will You WAIT on Father to lead the dance... Repent of your foolish idea that You are in Control, Yield to His beautiful plan Believe that He alone is good and Stand firm by the Grace and Power God alone gives still waiting on His "yes" and His "go ahead" yet all the while savoring the moment where You just get to dream.

Well today is a day to dream
Tomorrow? Who knows! But I live on total grace where GOD DOES IT and I am so convinced that any of my own effort coming out reminds me of how incredibly needy I am. It's scary but it's freeing because I relinquish that false sense of security where I think I control my destiny to Him who has had it all along. And it's just better that way.

I'm off to dream with the greatest Dreamer that ever existed...

this week has been a fun busy one and i have lots of thoughts but no time to post... i am just so glad to be His very precious daughter, Holy and beloved because of what He alone has given. All that just to say this weekend can only get better because I am going to AUBURN. so

WAR EAGLE, HEY!!!!!!

I just finished Blue Like Jazz and here are some things that really resonated with me from the chapter on worship- what an incredible book! I tried to hold off b/c everyone was reading it but now i see why: Here's some more Donald Miller for ya:

"I love how the Gospels start, with John the Baptist eating bugs and baptizing people. The religious people started getting baptized because it had become popular, and John yells at them and calls them snakes. He says the water won't do anything for them, it will only get their snakeskins wet. But if they meant it, if they had faith that Jesus was coming and was real, then Jesus would ignite the kingdom life within them. I love that because for so long religion was my false gospel. But there was no magic in it, no wonder, no awe, no kingdom life burning in my chest. And when I get tempted by that same stupid Christian religion, I go back to the beginning of the Gospels and am comforted that there is something more than the emptiness of ritual. God will ignite the kingdom life within me, the Bible says. That's mysticism. It isn't a formula that I am figuring out. It is something God does."

(Yeah, lets forget the routine and ask God what He would have us do! Blind faith! Isn't that what He asks? Not for the cold, comfortable, sure thing)


"...Too much of our time is spent trying to chart God on a grid and too little is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe. By reducing Christian spirituality to formula, we deprive our hearts of wonder."
(How about if we quit trying to figure out what He's doing and just focus on Him and surrender to the beautiful awe of Father!)



"When I think about the complexity of the Trinity the three-in-one God, my mind cannot understand, but my heart feels wonder in abundant satisfaction. It is as though my heart, in the midst of its euphoria is saying to my mind, There are things you cannot understand, and you must learn to live with this. NOt only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy this."

"At the end of the day, when I am lying in bed and I know the chances of any of our theology being exactly right are a million to one, I need to know that God has things figured out, that if my math is wrong we are still going to be okay. And wonder is that feeling we get when we let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want God to folllow.
I don't think there is any better worship than wonder."

(I agree with Mister Donald Miller... it would be hard to worship something that we had all figured out ... then it should worship us! Hm. He's trustworthy and greater than we can even begin to imagine.)

thank the Lord for a great game... an awesome last few minutes and friends to scream and celebrate with. how exciting! but there's nothing like being there right in the Middle of a good game! There's nothing like coming back after you've graduated and feeling the A.U. pride well up.

There's nothing like knowing, experiencing, and being right smack dab in the MIDDLE of a movement of people all passionate and in love with the same purpose, united to accomplish one goal. And isn't it funny how are are "working" so hard to achieve results and yet we have no control over what happens. (and no, i'm not really talking about football anymore, but I could be...) We even may make a total fool of ourselves, painting ourselves a color that shows we're for the best team, wearing and saying what we should... and when you win, what abundant joy and fellowship there is...

And when you lose...

If you are an Auburn fan, hopefully this doesn't determine your loyalty. Because Auburn is bigger and better than just football- than the tangible side that the TV flaunts. It's a place, it's a people, it's a spirit. It's a community that has spread worldwide. Nothing is cooler than seeing a shirt in a city far away... I know some have seen one in other countries. It happens and it instantly perks up your spirit and your excitement. Auburn is something special.

Jesus is special-er.

He's special-est.

He's bigger than the church building, than the musicians who represent Him, than the meetings in His name. He is all powerful. He is moving. We can't Him but we see the effects of Him. Jesus in me stirs up the Jesus and you and vice-versa. It's one thing to sit back and watch and celebrate what He's doing but it's another to be right smack dab in the middle.

I wanna be a part! I wanna be connected to the body of believers that shares the same passion that I have and connected to the body that hears his heartbeat and is driven by His Spirit alone. He is something special and unique that evokes irrepressible joy that we can't describe or contain.

May we all get excited about moving with Him as He stirs our hearts to love and live in Him like never before. And may we welcome the flow of His powerful life through us to do it as we die to our own efforts. I want Him to do it. He wins every time.

I think Jesus could quite possibly be a loyal Auburn fan. He's got Spirit. :) I know he'll be hearing lots of prayers from Jordan Hare a week from today! And in His mercy, let it be so...

Gosh, He is so much bigger than a game... just imagine what it would be like for a stadium full to be gathered in His honor ... well someday soon every knee on heaven and earth will bow and I cannot wait to be part of it... something Huge for Someone who deserves our lives.

War Eagle and
Go in Grace!!

1 John 1 1[WE ARE writing] about the Word of Life [[a]in] Him Who existed from the beginning, Whom we have heard, Whom we have seen with our [own] eyes, Whom we have gazed upon [for ourselves] and have touched with our [own] hands.
2And the Life [[b]an aspect of His being] was revealed (made manifest, demonstrated), and we saw [as eyewitnesses] and are testifying to and declare to you the Life, the eternal Life [[c]in Him] Who already existed with the Father and Who [actually] was made visible (was revealed) to us [His followers].
3What we have seen and [ourselves] heard, we are also telling you, so that you too may [d]realize and enjoy fellowship as partners and partakers with us. And [this] fellowship that we have [which is a [e]distinguishing mark of Christians] is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ (the Messiah).
4And we are now writing these things to you so that our joy [in seeing you included] may be full [and [f]your joy may be complete].
5And this is the message [the message of [g]promise] which we have heard from Him and now are reporting to you: God is Light, and there is no darkness in Him at all [[h]no, not in any way].

He has made me to shine! ... But they cannot see the light unless I turn my face to You, Father. (p.p. sara groves)

I think people know Christians are supposed to be these loving people- light- pleasant to be around, a source of fellowship because they are an extension of Life.

I am a little upset at a Christian on TV that has a platform of political ideas and what sounds like judgemental statements on other leaders, writing them off as if they are beyond saving or beyond the intervention of Father, telling them not to even call out to God because of something they had done.

I am SO GLAD that I don't have to earn or achieve the salvation Father imparts to me. He gives it just when I need it. I definitely don't deserve it except for the cross! I am SO glad He does not renig on that promise when I mess up! (The Gospel is the saving power to those who ARE BELIEVING not once believed... there is no present power or life in a historical fact but in Him and the fact that He's alive today!)

I am also SO GLAD that it's not my job to judge or decide the fate of others. I leave that to Father for this man on TV (since there's no possible way I can know His heart) and for myself. (Father, Search me and Know me. I trust and you live inside me you will bring to my conscience that which You want to deal with... humble me to accept it).

When will we understand its more about loving people and less about dividing them, analyzing them, and figuring out their destiny. It seems that people know Christians are "supposed to love and such and the world is just waiting to see it in action. There are hearts that want to believe but are pushed away by those who are focused on 'do' and 'dont'.

Relying on the Spirit brings about LOVE and from that flows the others: joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self control. If you LOVE above all else won't you find the rest of these. I believe that this is what our world hungers for- now's our chance to let the Life of the ALL Powerful Resurrected Jesus accomplish it: "for I am with you until the end of the age" We cannot truly and selflessly love without being full of Him.

I am just really pumped about the message of "Your kingdom come" Salvation is Here! Grace is Here! He is Alive and we can participate in it Now! I love what Sara Groves says:

IN MY MIND THE NEW ALBUM IS ABOUT THE KINGDOM OF GOD, HOW IT REALLY DOES EXIST, AND IS AS REAL AS YOUR CAR OR YOUR KRISPY KREME DONUT, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR PROBLEMS. IF WE CAN FIGURE IT OUT, GOD HAS INVITED US TO LIVE in His kingdom in the midst of our regular existence. It is not a place of isolation and perfection, it is not far away where we cannot reach it. It happens at all the places where we intersect with each other. I hope the album is another reminder that the kingdom of God doesn't just come in the rally or worship event. It comes when I speak respectfully to my husband, and refrain from letting my anger spill over onto my kids, when I have an opportunity to gossip and refrain, when I open up my home, when I mess up royally, and have the stuff to go apologize, when I refuse to blame everyone else for my problems. These songs are about the beautiful character that grows out of seeing people through by loving God, and loving people. – SARA GROVES

do yourself a favor and listen to the whole sara groves album (the new one)