i have talked about this before i think, but it is so cool how when God does give us His life, that Life works in and through us to bring about desires. Now our choice is whether we live out of that Life or out of our fear and own reasoning. (Which is a very human thing to do) God wants us to know that we have ALL we need in Christ Jesus if we'll just depend on Him. Depend on him? Yes, wait on Him, listen to Him, and obey Him. But I think the more you depend on Him it's more natural to obey or to walk in truth... not fear and anxiety.

Just a word from Father mades the world. Just a word from Him stops my world and turns it all around so that my eyes are on Him and I can let Him do anything to me, with me, through me for His glory- surrendered to Him.

And now He's speaking...

It's so cool how He speaks to the hearts of his children and How he uses that to unite them. It's like you can get a glimpse of how He is doing something bigger than us by just talking to other believers and hearing the heartbeat that He's place in them. And then you find yourself exclaiming "Yeah! Yeah! I was just thinking that! I was just teaching about that! I just heard that message the other day, God has really been working on me with that, He has been romancing me too with that! " And community is formed b/c we see we are all from the same Father, with the same heart, and who wouldn't wanna join up for the cause of Dad? Especially when He is stirring hearts like He has been.

I love what April said about what God is doing in her heart and speaking over her life:
"I do not know how long my life will be....i have entered into my 2nd quarter of life and already feel as if the days are moving by to fast. I don't just want my days here on earth to whisper the greatness of God, i want them to boldy proclaim and declare His greatness all over the earth."
I think many share that feeling. Oh He is so worth giving our lives. Our short little lives that He takes much pleasure in. It's funny that we are here, but we are with Him... seated in Christ at the right hand of Father. Eternity and Life today. Rest today. Confidence in Him alone, the Famous and Great God, today, that will hopefully overflow onto the whole earth.

The heartbeats are the same because the Father is the same Father who wills and works in each believer for His purposes great (for His glory!) and small.

i thought i might post some scripture to go along w/ what i've been saying... i have quoted some but not all is obvious and i have put forth the ideas that are contained but not given the references... so here they are:

Romans 5:8But God (O)demonstrates (P)His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, (Q)Christ died for us.
9Much more then, having now been justified (R)by His blood, we shall be saved (S)from the wrath of God through Him.
10For if while we were (T)enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved (U)by His life. (from the greek verb zao: meaning
to live, breathe, be among the living (not lifeless, not dead)
to enjoy real life
to have true life and worthy of the name
active, blessed, endless in the kingdom of God
to live i.e. pass life, in the manner of the living and acting
of mortals or character
living water, having vital power in itself and exerting the same upon the soul
metaph. to be in full vigour
to be fresh, strong, efficient,
as adj. active, powerful, efficacious - and to think we receive "true life" and all that comes with it at salvation!!!)
And there's more:
11(V)And not only this, but we also exult(boast or glory) in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received (W)the reconciliation. (nasb)


Romans6: 8Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,
9Because we know that Christ (the Anointed One), being once raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has power over Him.
10For by the death He died, He died to sin [ending His relation to it] once for all; and the life that He lives, He is living to God [in unbroken fellowship with Him].
11Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to God [living in unbroken fellowship with Him] in Christ Jesus. (amp)

Your old life has no power over you- as a believer, you are secured in Him- unbroken fellowship. Sin makes it feel like it's broken but He never leaves or turns His face- You are totally forgiven! The wrath of God was poured out on Jesus so He CAN have unbroken fellowship with us!

"God gave His life FOR us in order to give His life TO us, in order that He might live His life THROUGH us!"
-Grace Life Manual

Let the gospel change you and how you see things today! It's so relevant to every part of life. It's one thing to believe it, it's another when your walls are broken down and it changes your whole life. What does the gospel mean to YOU? Why is it good news? or is it?

I am seeing a common theme among believers lately: a passion that is unique and an urgency to wholly know Father and then a HUGE motivation for others to know... and brokenness because they down. I think SG is on the same page, most the people i have talked to lately, and several other recent books... so... no doubt God is moving His people to love Him and receive HIS love which, when you WHOLLY experience this, you can't help but want others to know the One who is the substance of your life. i love this song b/c it paints a cool picture of the journey of recognizing that I am a new creation: the old has gone and the new has come. It reminds me of how I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives within me. and we are saved BY HIS LIFE. He gives us our very life- the one that is born of the Spirit- brand new and growing for eternity... and yet " I cannot make it, or fake it, and I can't afford it (there's NO way I can earn this life, yet somehow....) It's Mine!
Mine? really? I can have it? But I... I didn't do anything. Don't I owe you something? Don't I...
Really?
It's mine?
I can't believe that.
well that's what faith is for!
But it makes no sense
my ways are not your ways!
Lord?

If it's too good to be true... it JUST MIGHT BE the GOSPEL!


"something changed"

something changed inside me, broke wide open, all spilled out, til i had no doubt that something changed
and every word, i believed it, until I felt it in my own heart, in the deepest part
The healing came

and I cannot make it
and I cannot fake it
and I can't afford it
but it's Mine!

something so amazing in our hearts so dark and dim, when the walls fall
down,
and the Light comes in

(sara groves)

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Katie B |

You Are the Sun
by Sara Groves and Matt Bronlewee

You are the sun shining down on everyone
Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere you are is warmth and light

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can't be a light unless I turn my face to you

Shine on me with your light
Without you I'm a cold dark stone
Shine on me I have no light of my own

You are the sun, you are the sun, you are the sun
And I am the moon

Oh please take this to heart! I think the Lord is just painting a picture of who He is and how He is everywhere with this light analogy: You can't escape it! ANYTHING that we see physically is because light enters our eyes and reflects the shapes and colors, even if it's minimal. And everything we understand spiritually is a result of LIGHT Himself revealing it as He illuminates it to our hearts. He is illuminating light to me. It's very very rare that I am in such physical darkness that I can't see to take a step. He always grants enough and sometimes it's more thank enough- sometimes blinding! And the times when it's just a shade lighter than pitch black He grants us the courage to walk forward, but it's strictly because of Light that we can move forward. Just like light, HE is all around us. He is everywhere showing us more about all that we face. I don't wanna miss it. I don't wanna take it for granted, and if I am the moon, I long to be illuminated by Him to the brightest possible light that He may be glorified, but remember that I am nothing compared to the sun, the source, the creator of all light and beauty that we get to see with our very eyes. (and couldn't see without the light for that matter) gosh i so desire to be a light... the Lord has had me in that place where His presense is overwhelming and life-sustaining and I ache for others to know it.
HOW WILL THEY KNOW?
"i will never be a light unless i turn my face to YOU"
Only in His power and mercy can I be a part of others seeing Him. Lord- Let it be so! Please join me in praying for this! That we'll be so consumed with this Light that we are reflecting it everywhere, all over ourselves and those around us. And that we will see the value and NECESSITY of our Source, our Light.

walk in the light as He is in the light...
wake up o sleeper arise from the dead and CHRIST will shine on you (that's a promise)
will you believe it?


ps- sara groves just put out a cd with incredible lyrics- it's my new fave, especially this song and "loving a person" you gotta check it out :)

"I hope i would leave a legacy of joy, a legacy of real compassion, because i think there is great joy in real compassion. I dont think you can know joy apart from caring deeply about peaople, caring deeply enough about people that you actually do something. But I have a feeling: If my life is motivated by my ambition to leave a legacy, what I'll probably leave as a legacy is ambition. But if my life is motivated by the power of the spirit in me, if i live in the awareness of the indwelling Christ, if i allow His presence to guide my actions to guide my motives, those sorts of things, that's the only time I think that we really leave a great legacy. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, that which is born of the spirit is Spirit. My ambition to be a 'good guy' is a fleshly ambition. When Christ calls us to take up our cross and follow him alot of us think that what that means is we are supposed to lay down our vices and we are supposed to cling to virtues. But i think that unless Christ is lord of our virtues, our virtues become dangerous to us and dangerous to the people around us. I think that when Christ calls us to take up our cross, what He means is you must die not only to whatever vices are in your life, which he will eventually kill off, you must also die to whatever virtues are in your life. your life is not valuable because you are an articulate speaker, your life is not valuable becuase you are a generous person, your life is not valuable because of any of that. If we empty ourselves of everything and allow God to be present then it's no longer us. It's Him. Then it becomes a spiritual thing, and that which is born of the spirit is spirit. That's when i think Chrisitanity really begins to make sense."
-rich mullins, a child of God first and foremost, a musician and lover of people who was killed in a car accident in 1997 but has definitely left a legacy - Jesus

I think this shows how knowing Christ and trusting him goes hand in hand with walking in Him and in His power alone. Not our own idea, but his. We simply "empty ourselves of EVERYTHING and allow God to be present..." then He is our life. He fills us. I am pumped about what He's doing and going to do.

"Christianity is not receiving a message of Christ and adding Him to your present belief system. It is a mighty wind and everything is removed and Life is in its place. .. The spirit of God- the levee breaks and life is going to begin" -Tom Nelson on the Acts church and the receiving of the Holy Spirit, who gives us the power to do what He has called us to do.

I can't say it enough: He is life! He is central to everything. Without Him we are clinging to idols that will bring death, disappointment, and darkness. He is light- He illumines life, brings purpose, and is PRESENT in every situation. Without him, we are spiritually dead being, rotten bodies walking around. With Him we are a temple, encasing the Holy of Holies, the glory of God, the light and works from the inside out. Regenerated new creations, no longer slaves to the old dead lifestyle but free to live in Him and the power of the holy Spirit. Is that not repentance? Turning from the old ways to believe the new? Putting our back to the dead life and living Life in Him? Isn't that were life begins? With him? So whatever is not in Him is wood, hay, and stubble. Life begins in Him.

I love what Donald Miller says about light: "You and I, made from molecules, cannot travel at the speed of light and cannot escape time, at least not with a body. Consider the complexity of light in light of the Hebrew metaphor: we don't see light; we see what it touches. It is more aor less invisible, made from nothing, just purposed and focused energy, infinite in its power (it will never tire if fired into a vacuum, going on forever). How fitting, then, for God to create an existence, then a metaphor, as if to say, here is something entirely unlike you, outside of time, infinite in its power and thrust: here is something you can experience but cannot understand. Throughout the remainder of the Bible, then, God calls Himself Light. The perfection of the Hebrew metaphor is eerie..."

God is indescribable isnt he, but it's fun to try to describe Him. Ha, and He only becomes greater. Ever present. Illuminating all He touches.

I had an awesome weekend at sharptop cove. I went with the Trussville Young Life group hoping to share with some girls, hoping to see lives changed or impacted in someway but God had different plans. I definitely got to share, I definitely experienced brokenness for the girls, but my favorite was the moments of solitude I had with Father. I haven't been to sharptop since the encounter retreat, oh about a year and a half or more ago. Then I was at a point, a very different point, than I am now. I remember we were sent out across camp to hear from father and I felt as if I couldn't. I wasn't sure what He was up to but what I did sense was, as I heard the creek across the way, that I have a river of Life flowing out of me... So I was content with that, chewed on that, and went on about my business. It was all a part of Life's plans...

This past weekend, we were also sent out across camp, it was a clear cold night, they turned out all the lights and Father was there. I realized that my favorite parts were the leader's meetings where we had 15 minutes to be still. If God spoke, he spoke, if not that was fine too. I just loved BE-ing there with "BE" (you know... "I am" the unconjugated form is... "BE") that's His name! Yahweh=I am who I am! And this time, under the stars, I was so content even if He didn't speak to just be in that place, alone with my love. My heart of hearts. And as I wept for the girls who were so content and full on the world, I recognized that it wasn't too long ago that I was there. So I got excited that God would break in on them too... and told them that their time would come when that no longer satisfied.

At the end of the weekend I just kept coming back to how awesome being in His presence is. Being totally there... where I always am whether I acknowledge it or not, in HIM and He is in me. I am overwhelmed and overjoyed at this God that knows my thoughts-something a man could never do- and for someone to know THAT much about me is amazing. I mean, He lives inside me! He's there all the time and KNOWS me! Isn't that what we want so often is to be known? There's something about someone just asking you questions and getting in to your life that wins your heart. And God is that person- wanting to know your story from your point of view, but already knows it because that's who He is by our position in Him!

As I continued to reflect on what God has done the past couple of years I wept more- I am so humbled at His pursuit and was able to see it looking back moreso than being in the midst of it. Oh, His hand is in it all: Yesterday, today and tomorrow forever. As i looked at the tons and tons of stars so intricate and complex something welled up in me and my heart was warmed at the thought of FATHER. Father has done an incredible work in breaking down walls inside of me- and I praised Him for that. We have been a lot of places together and I am looking forward to more. There's something overwhelming about being in His presence. There's something perspective-changing about it. There's also something essential about it.

I loved the times of prayer this summer when Sandy would lead us. We would just sit and be silent and be with him. Sense Him. Knowing that He was there and would continue to be there as things picked up during the day. It was so hard to leave that place. "Your presence Lord is LIFE to me."(Kathryn Scott, Breathe on me Now) Because He IS my life, He is my everything. He is I AM and so I like to get a little more specific with His names sometimes:
LIFE be my life and source today.
GRACE be my love and grace toward others and myself.
PRESENCE stir my soul - Being here with YOU, Life, is enough.

http://www.myspace.com/danielbashta
listen to the song pursuit in worship today.... He says "I cant live without your presence, I can't live without your presence" It's so simple. It's where I find my life and energy and purpose. It's powerful because it is HIM! PRESENCE Himself! This mode of prayer is powerful and many movements have come from it... think about the Acts church-

Knowing Him and who He is causes us to be nothing less than active people when we are In Christ and trusting Him to live his life through us. We can't help it! The love of Christ compels us! Kinda funny because GOD is Love! He compels us! He does it! Being filled with him (yes, as a believer you are filled, so live in it- believe it) overflows into loving and joy peace patience kindness goodness faith gentleness and self control to be manifested and those around you to be recipients of such.

Know (Be intimate with) Him and then WALK in Him, all the while KNOWing He will do it.

could it be that He is more committed to our sanctification than our success?
(so that He will get the glory by refining us/ making us more like Christ than making our plans succeed and taking the chance that we might think "I did it"

could it be that the world and our society is all wrong and HE is right?
(I believe so... He is the one source of truth, in fact, HE is THE Truth. Truth himself lives in you and me and aches to break through the lies that pound us each day... )

could it be that HE is reality and all that I see is temporary?
(possibly so... Life IN Christ is real Life... Life himself is real, yet something I cannot see. At the same time it's amazing that He has such power in and over me. LIFE himself is my heartbeat and driving force. HE is my source. Nothing else truly fuels me or gets me going. )

More to come... many more thoughts from my precious Source of all good things... Oh how He has Won my heart...

i am so excited to share with ya'll what happened today. the day started out with a missionary speaking at church.He was talking about taking opportunities and being active in your sphere of influence. Then randy pope from Perimeter Church in ATL did our sermon. It was about the gospel and importance of discipleship. He stated a simple way to explain the gospel:

1. We lost it all.
2. He did it all.
3. We get it all.

the misconception is that we lost a lot (so we still have 'some' in and of ourselves), he did a lot (so we can still do to achieve our status with the Lord) and We get a lot from Him (and we get the rest from our own self-sufficiency)

And Satan creeps in and tempts us with the twisted power that comes from self-sufficiency.

But isn't the real beauty of the gospel that GOD DOES it?!!! That's Grace! GOD does it!

Like today,
My new friend Leslie and I went to read and hang outside to enjoy the lovely weather at Homewood Park. I had my TCBY and new book and I sit down to see her filling out a survey for a Thai lady, about 35 or so, who is a grad student in health promotion at UAB. Her survey was about a booklet she had made for women's health promotion called "A Woman's Worth"
Now, if that title isn't a wide open door for the Gospel?! So the questions on the survey were like "what do you think is the worth of the women" and we are here putting our Christ-centered answers. "A woman is worth much because she is the Daughter of a king- She is worth the life of Christ because He has called her beloved." It was so fun.

And so Leslie and I went on to share with the sweet woman about the Love of Christ and the Purpose He gives our lives. We tell her how even though the world is so Huge and God made it He still cares about little bitty us. We talked about how the more we know Jesus and the more we are able to Love like he loved because He puts His strength in us. She heard how He changes our heart and gives us peace and life. He makes life worthwhile. Wow. She had seen the Passion movie and knew a little about the cross which was incredible to relate back to and had seen a little joel osteen on tv... i dont know where he stands but she knew that God has something to do with love. That was about the extent of what she knew. You could see the wheels turning. We talked for 45 minutes about Jesus and our relationships with Him. Leslie is a pro with asian folks as well b/c she had been in east asia for 2 years but it was incredible that this lady was so curious, so open to all we had to say. She knew relatively nothing. I loved telling her that God loved her and it was no coincidence that He allowed us to meet and for her to survey us. So we exchanged email and phone numbers. She is married and has a 7th grade son. She was very gracious to us and assured us she would be thinking about what she heard. Oh Lord, please regenerate her heart for your glory!!! After she left Les and I prayed:

We thanked the Lord for being faithful, for reminding us that HE would do it and it was so humbling to know that He blessed us with the opportunity to talk about Him to someone who had not met him. And we'll continue to pray for her and if any of you read this please pray for her and her family. She did not pray to receive Christ but she said she wants to think more about it and wants to get together with us! What an amazing God? Who am I that He would allow me to be a part of this? Lord, give me more- bring more to know you and please let me be a part of this overwhelming miracle that only YOU can do!

The more I know Him the more He stirs me to be active... I got the coolest article today from one of the "Shepherds" of our sunday school... talking about the Acts church- He really has vision for outreach and also runs an apologetics ministry here in town. Anyway, that Acts stuff fires me up. I desire to be someone who actually walks in Him- not sits in Him... i wanna be sensitive to what He would have me to do, ears tuned to His voice. A little less talking about Him and a lot more action! Walking it out! here's the sight where that article is- it's a church's vision: do yourself a favor and read it!
http://www.vvclc.org/index.cfm?FuseAction=AboutUs

some excerpts:
...We have decided that having faith without works is not enough and having works without love is not acceptable; our function comes out of our relationship first with the Father and second with each other.
-We have decided that hearing about the Holy Spirit without experiencing Him is not enough, that believing in His Presence without seeing It manifested in signs and wonders is not enough; believing in healing without seeing people healed is absurd, and that believing in deliverance without people being delivered is absolutely ridiculous.
-We have decided that it is better to fail while reaching for the best God has planned for us than succeed settling for less.
-We have decided that nothing short of His Kingdom come, His will be done in our world as it is in heaven - nothing short of that will satisfy.
-We have decided that we will not be satisfied until our world freaks out and cries out "Those who have turned the world upside down have come here too."

...These are some of the decisions that define who we are as a community and how we live our lives...

It's a lifestyle- it's natural...It's passionate... It's adventurous... It's CHRIST as LIFE!

Oh Dear Lord move in me and through me like you desire!

Jesus is it! He is central! He is LIFE- He is our breath, our heartbeat, our everything.

I dont know if you've been around someone who can't breathe- they struggle, they fight to get relief from the lack of oxygen, they work ten times harder than a person without the breathing problem and if there is no intervention, they continue to work too hard. It's a deadly cycle where they can get more and more exhausted as every breath becomes harder and harder. the lack of oxygen may even make them act a little crazy! it they are left to their own ends, they will eventually pass out. They need HELP! They are desperate! Eventually the person would stop breathing or pass out. They would stop fighting because they couldn't do it anymore. All energy and resources they had would have run out and their only hope is assistance from an outside source. They need something external to breathe life in- a machine or another human- but whatever source it is... it took giving up and maybe even a little pain and fright to get to this point. And then when it is most needed- at the edge of perishing- oxygen from a good reliable source is breathed in and it becomes life to the once suffocating victim. They couldn't live without it, but they just needed someone to breathe FOR them. Past that the analogy doesn't keep because hopefully the person would be revived and off the ventilator and on their own again.

I like to consider myself a ventilated person- this life is not my own but that of Jesus. Without him I do not have the energy to live... in fact, it's impossible. Satan may sometimes have me fooled that life can be lived without Jesus, but the reality of that is there is NO LIFE apart from Him! Reality is HIM! Eternity is now and forever (and the past for that matter) in Jesus. Whatever not done in faith will not last but be burned. Real life, real satisfaction is him. Jesus is IT! HE is your deepest need! more than a meal, more than exercise, more that money, HE IS IT!
JESUS is your LOVE (Dear Jesus, be love to me, love me through me love others through me because I am dead apart from you, be love)
JESUS is your JOY (Dear Jesus, You are alive in me and Make me alive in your Joy. You ARE my joy! )
Jesus IS your PEACE (Dear One who made peace between me and Father- Reign in my heart because you ARE the definition of Peace)
He is your patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. He is all these things and all these things are a PERSON!
LOVE is a PERSON, alive in you, and His name is Jesus!

Tap into the PERSON that lives His life in and through you!
HE IS IT!

I received this awesome story from my precious friend (yeah, white house Rambo!) from Blue Like Jazz:


"A guy I know named Alan went around the country asking ministry leaders questions. He went to successful churches and asked the pastors what they were doing, why what they were doing was working. It sounded very boring except for one visit he made to a man named Bill Bright, the president of a big ministry. Alan said he was a big man, full of life, who listened without shifting his eyes. Alan asked a few questions. I don't know what they were, but as a final question he asked Dr. Bright what Jesus meant to him. Alan said Dr. Bright could not answer the question. He said Dr. Bright just started to cry. He sat there in his big chair behing his big desk and wept.
When Alan told me that story I wondered what it was like to love Jesus that way. I wondered, quite honestly, if that Bill Bright guy was just nuts or if he really knew Jesus in a personal way, so well that he would cry at the very mention of His name. I knew then that I would like to know Jesus like that, with my heart, not just my head. I felt like that would be the key to something."

How awesome would it be to know Jesus in that way? Lost without Him. He IS our direction and purpose.
Depressed without Him. He IS our JOY.
Nothing withough Him. He IS our EVERYTHING!

You hopefully know how it is to deeply care about someone...If not I pray that you will begin to invest in the lives of your friends and or family and come to see what I am talking about:

heart friends:
ones that have seen you laid bare- ones that you literally have shared your heart with and feel that they have a piece of you and you have a piece of them. I was in a small group about 5 years ago with people that I have a type of bond with like no other- it was so ordained by father as we were not only sharing the same passion but it felt like we were even on the same page- on the same narrow rocky road together. We watched the Lord breathe life into us in such a refreshing way.

well, we had a small reunion of this group (plus some new additions!- aren't the beautiful!?) this past weekend at the encounter retreat... One of the many ways to describe that small group would be "united"- our hearts beat for Jesus in sync with each other and we cant really put to words exactly what happened that year but we knew Jesus was there in a unique way ... There is no doubt that we tasted and saw that the Lord is good. I think it's an earthly example of exactly what God does when He unites himself with us. When he gives us a new heart and places a new spirit within us and we share that "God-heart" with others there is a spiritual bond created. Ezekiel 36:26-27 talks about how He removes our heart of stone and replaces it with a heart of flesh. He gives us a new heart and put a new Spirit in us. He actually puts HIS Spirit in us and moves us to follow His decrees and be careful to keep his laws because of this new nature. No wonder we are all in sync when we are all abiding in the Lord and going hard after Him. This heart is a gift but it's also His heart... Like a heart transplant... It was once someone else's, but now it's mine...But it's someone else's...But it's MINE! And it's the driving power force of my life blood. Or shall we say His life blood... Oh I want to welcome the flow of His life through me otherwise I am dry and lifeless.

I asked the Lord to reveal a little more about how He thinks of me and how he pursues me and here's where it ties in and he was faithful to answer:
Knowing what it feels like to "share hearts" with some or like my dear dear friend prayed to "see my heart in another body" and feel that strongly tied to someone, imagine how our Abba feels tied to us!!!! When your "heart friend" is in the room you don't play around aimlessly but you do spend your precious time with them while you have the chance... knowing that HE lives in me and is hearing all my most intimate thoughts. There's no way any other human could know me that well!

you know all my thoughts
you see through my ways
and still you come to me...

and He sees me as a valuable possession- HIS heart of hearts- not just because He calls me that and not just because we wants to woo me but literally because we carry around in us His spirit-I would venture to say His heart a part of Him that UNITES us to Him ... His desires become ours and His thoughts and His ways become more ours as we are sanctified and as we are changed from glory to glory. And like we heard from Matt this weekend, we want to be nestled into His chest, hearing His heartbeat (think Charlie Hall: suddenly I feel your heart in mine...Sweep me away!) It's in us... The question is will we rest in what we hear Him saying, believe it, and live like it's true to us.

and I'll sing a love song to you, and I'll sing a love song to you! and my life is a love song...

I cannot deny the love of my Savior! If I feel this strongly about my 'heart friends" I cant imagine how the God of the universe feels about His children, whom he formed for His pleasure and then bought back by His own blood, and not only that but gave himself up for you and me placing HIS very Spirit inside us.

wow! Is he connected to us in an intimate way? Oh yeah. We share hearts- we are united- we are part of the intimacy that always was and is and is to come. That is a degree of pursuit that I can only hope to fully understand until the good work is finished on the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6). You, my friend, are His Heart of Hearts. He thinks well of you. He does not see you by what you do but as a new creation, thanks to the finished work of the cross. It's finished. Live in the grace that He's given you. Yes, it's too good to be true so it's ok to walk around stunned, but pick that jaw up and dance to the new song with that heartbeat that is His. He is IN you... Your Hope of Glory.

If you find yourself doubting that this could possible be true, well, that's the nature of the gospel. If you think there's no way you could hear the heart of God, tell Satan to get behind you while to rest in the arms of your Abba. He's here and asks nothing of you but faith- if you just trust it opens the door to experience a world like no other. Life in Christ.

i leave you with some awesome lyrics by the coolest girl band ever:

i need You to love me, and I...

I won't keep my heart from you this time

and I'll stop this pretending that I can somehow deserve what I already have

i need you to love me...

I challenge you and me to stop what were doing and let Him love... that's who He is: Love! That's His nature and that's what He will do for all eternity. let Him break down the walls and bring light to the dark parts of your heart - let Him transform it because you already have His heart! Stop trying to earn/deserve this incredible give and just receive it. It's yours in Christ.

no deep theological thoughts for today- just a little story- make it theological if you will... i now know that i was not made to be an e.r. nurse... bone marrow transplant, land of long term patients, here i come! it's ALL hard manual labor but anyway...

e.r. story for the day:
i had a certain patient for 6 hours in the er today- an 18 yr old black girl w/ a seizure and an abcess that had to be cut open in an unmentionable place ... as if that wasn't traumatic enough her mom ( i believe... prob not too much older than the daughter) told me as it was time to leave that 'we should hang out sometime'
i was like o really
'yeah' she said... (and i have no idea at this point where this is going)
then i think she's from far away so i go ahead and ask where she hangs out
'in the --- club down town'
pardon? i say...
"in the GAY club down town' ....
keeping my cool (i think) i say 'oh, i have never been to a gay club before'
she says 'oh yeah, dont get worried when the women start dancing around you, it's all good- it's all girls'
and i make a remark about 'yeah, girls are more fun sometimes' and made my way out of the room. yikes.
what would ya'll have said? the nurse i was with asked me 'didn't you tell her you're straight?'dangit.... i didn't think of that one...typical me

the only word that the Lord gave me was "accept"
even when people freak me out or might think i am weird ... accept them... and know that I am accepted regardless of how others perceive me as I walk in the ways the Lord has called me and created me uniquely to be.

p.s. i went to a barlow girl concert and as some of you know i have quite an affinity for barlow girl... a band of 3 sisters who rock out :) oh to jam on a bass guitar... oh to start over and get really good at an instrument... music is so cool and you can see the journey these girls have been on and their hearts and walks w/ the Lord through their songs... they are the type that can't contain what God has done and it over-FLOWS into their music. . . the new album is called 'another journal entry' so you can imagine what that's like. i like it i love it i want some more of it... jesus that is !

I have heard enough John Piper to know the 'chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever"(Desiring God) and I was kinda playing around with the phrase "chief end" and was thinking how the result of the big spiritual words that we talk about that make up the gospel and Christianity as we know it all lead to what I think is His Ultimate Intention, His Heartbeat, His Character when you ask why you will see what I mean:
WHY did He make Adam if He knew He would 'mess up'?
I think Father values life- He delights in His creation- He is LOVE and Love is expressed when it has an object- before the foundations of time there existed Father, Son, and Holy Spirit--a beautiful picture of relationship. Father knew the 'first Adam' would fall but it was His joy to send a 'second Adam' to redeem His people- It wasn't a plan "B" but His ultimate intention to restore relationship with Himself through faith. We were important enough to Him so send a solution- We were His in the first place- He made us, so now we are doubly His : created by Him and bought by His blood... that He may exist in fellowship and relationship with us.
WHY did He send Jesus?
Sin- i.e.Adam's rejection of God's provision, Adam believing that He could be as God(P-r-i-d-e) separates us from God. I imagine a loving Father, a Jealous God, could not bear for His precious people to live unto idols of self and the world... so "God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us" So we would see HIS greatness, HIS glory, HIS selfless love (He does not NEED us, yet He loves us out of who He is) so He could be united with us- in complete unity- in intimate relationship.(Christ IN you the Hope of Glory)
Saves us from His wrath- I can't imagine any worse torture than being eternally separated from God- and neither can HE.

WHY did He forgive us in Christ?
because sin separates us from Him and He wants us to be in relationship with Him

WHY does He sanctify us?
He want to renew our souls from the inside out, disciplining us and purifying us so he can bring us to deep intimacy (in His power) and and deep trusting relationship with Him (don't you agree that trusting someone is part of true intimacy- trusting someone to see you and all your faults but accepting them wholeheartedly- so He can pour His love over you?!!)

WHY does He bring problems and trials in our lives?
Like He does in sanctification, He is faithful to relieve us of our own means of control, shows how His ways are better, thus producing a deeper dependence on Him to be the solution to problems and trials, therefore producing intimacy which equals RELATIONSHIP.

See, I don't think He purifies us just for the sake of good and bad... He has much greater purposes for us. I dont think He forgives us just because that's what we need/have to have. Ask HIM why? I have a feeling He will reveal more answers and you read the scripture with an open heart. Read them like a love letter not a 'honey-do' list. Whatever you do- do all for the glory of God... Whatever is not done in faith is sin (so that perfect sunday school attendance gets you no points if you were doing it for fleshly reasons: self image, peoplepleasing/getting acceptance, earning some righteousness... these are things that God can sufficiently provide to you and me without our help!) We go to church to know Him! through fellowshipping with others, through trusting and depending on our great Father to do what HE wants to do through our presense there (which is usually not what we think He wants to do- He's cool like that- I think He does things out of the box, well, so we can depend on Him more, listen to Him more, and therefore KNOW HIM MORE!)

He loves us out of His fullness- His overflow. He desires to know us- to be intimate with us... just look at the cross and listen to the gospel. Let is speak to your deepest needs today. acceptance? check- need met totally in Christ- can't feel it? believe it with that mustard seed of faith- He will honor it and plant that seed deep inside so it will grow. Oh He want to know you, and the depths of knowing HIM- just ask. wait. believe. He's able to do what He said He would do:

The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. (HE LIVES IN YOU, BELIEVER!)
And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places wher they should live. (could that go for us too? I believe so...)God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for Him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, 'we are his offspring' Acts 17:24-28

God is purposeful. God is near. Seek him and you'll find Him. Dont give up. He is working in you whether you know it or not. If you are believer, you are living on a field with a huge inheritance in it. Think of it like this: You have an eternal reserve of oil in this field. It's yours, you just dont know it yet until you start to dig a little, sweat a little, seek a little... Then, it's only a matter of time before you strike oil.

He wants to know you. Please BELIEVE it!

Can I tell you how much I love Auburn?.... Oh I do. And I hate working in the emergency room here- it's nothing like all you think it would be. Nursing is hard labor- ya'll shold try it. Anyway my thoughts for the past couple of days have centered around this:

I think one of the biggest hindrances to living the christian life is thinking that it's up to us.... that we have the power to glorify God in and of ourselves. I like this song because it puts the power in His hands...

You're the one who chased us
You're the one who started all of this
You're the one who dreams
You're the one who loves

So let us respond

Yours-the voice that calls us
Yours- the hands that hold us
When we have come undone
You're the one who loves

So let us respond

We are free, we are free in you God
(Robbie Seay Band)

A simple definition of grace to me is "GOD does it" and like i said in the posts before we are to simply respond by placing our faith in this great, amazing God. So let us respond- let us respond.
If GOD does it, we respond- how can we not when He reveals himself to us? And on the days when He doesnt seem present we walk in faith, knowing that He is great and choose to believe that truth. (Isn't that our expression of faith- believing what we cannot sense/see/feel?)
Our response? Worship Him, solely for His greatness, and that He has us where he has us for a reason. This keeps Him in his rightful place in our lives: in the center- on the throne.

Today is just a shadow of things to come.

Hebrews 11:1- Faith- I can't see Him but He's REAL. My amount of faith does not determine how big God is.
11:4- Faith is a heart motivation and faith that pleases God is faith in Him- believing HE will do what He says He will do- even when everything around us tells us 'no way'
11:13- Reminds me of the power of faith to control and sustain my life
11:33- Faith has the power to :
subdue kingdoms, administer justice, obtain promised blessings, close the mouth of lions...and more
11:39- And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, 40since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.

12:1- Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

and verse 2(the one that brought me here in the first place...) looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Yep, it's HIS job- our responsibility is to look to Jesus. Eyes off self. Look to Jesus. the founder(some versions say Author) and perfecter of our faith! It's simple. Ha. Not easy, but simple :) Continue to let HIM transform you because He is more faithful than we can imagine. He wants to make you into the likeness of Jesus, and most of all He wants to enjoy His child. You.

why are you so ashamed? what are you trying to hide? do you think God can't see it? why are you putting those fig leaves (see the story of adam and eve) trying to cover your struggles and imperfections? why? do you think you have to make yourself perfect to be presentable to God before He would rescue you? Do you really think you have the power to perfect yourself anyway? I think Satan has many believers in bondage by causing them to become obsessed with their sin instead of the savior. There are so many defeated believers around who are caught in this lie.

psalm 139.... he even knows our thoughts! He knows all, and He know all about us so much so that He knows more than we do about ourselves. (confused yet?) He can actually reveal to us stuff about ourselves that we had no clue about.

who am i to try to hide and be ashamed...if I find myself in this place I tell myself the gospel truth: He accepts me! That's the beauty of the gospel. Brennan Manning says "He loves us just as we are and not as we should be since none of us is as we should be"

How about that?! How about responding to that... does that not free you up?! We are free to not give in to the devil's deception that "we can't approach God because we are not good enough"... He died for us "while we were yet sinners" Sooo... How does that free me up, you say? Well think about it like this... if you know you are loved and totally accepted regardless of your performance doesn't that free you up to walk in love (think about a child and parent) instead of in fear. You are free to be who He created you to be: in the image of Christ Jesus. You are the beloved so BE- loved! You've seen him or her before- the one who knows she is loved. She has a skip in her step, a light about her, and a twinkle in her eye. Well I believe God wants us to believe that He loves us in that same special way. He considered us valuable enough to die for us even while we were still sinners- He paid the life of His most precious Son for our lives that he might have RELATIONSHIP with us- not simply to redeem us and eradicate the debt that was owed for sin but ultimately that we may KNOW him and GLORIFY Him forever!

So what do we have to be ashamed of? God's not afraid of our sin, He has declared victory over it. He has freed us from the power of it. Who are we to think that we are supposed to be perfect in and of ourselves anyway? GOD does it. Grace says "GOD DOES IT" Not I who live but Christ lives in me. He is the only goodness in me. He is my source. I just get to walk in it. It's a gift. It's too good to be true, so it just might be the GOSPEL!

saw this posted on my nursing unit and thought it was pretty awesome. it shows the provision of the Lord in every area of our lives, to meet every need! and He does is for relationship and for His glory... read on!

A NEW LOOK AT PSALM 23~
The Lord is my Shepherd -That's Relationship
I shall not want -That's Supply (I'm lacking in nothing!)
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures -That's Rest (yep, He "maketh's" you)
He leadeth me beside the still waters -That's Refreshment
He restoreth my soul -That's Healing (soul: our thinker/feeler/chooser where He renews our mind!)
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness -That's Guidance (HE leads, not me! That's freedom!)
For His name's sake -That's Purpose (for HIS glory!)
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death -That's Testing(-that we may KNOW Him!)
I will fear no evil -That's Protection
For Thou art with me -That's Faithfulness
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies -That's Hope
Thou anointest my head with oil -That's Consecration (He has called us HIS- set apart and holy!)
My cup runneth over -That's Abundance
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life -That's Blessing
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord -That's Security
Forever -That's Eternity!

He is ALL we need!

what does it look feel like/look like to be totally dependent upon Christ, welcoming the flow of His life through you in even the little things: well here's a little email conversation between and friend of mine and me- yep, it's a real life example... i know we've all been there, and God used a difficult relationship in her life to surface what He's wanting to do in her heart:

I said:

God> used [this tough thing in your life] to accomplish HIS purpose:
which is intimacy by way of a deeper> dependence springing out of an even
deeper NEED! praise the Lord to be> living (and believing) at the utter END
of your SELF! that lovely tension> that feels like you're gonna fall flat on
your face but somehow someway He's> got you.... and sooner than later you
enjoy this once umcomfortable position> because HE is doing the work and you
are just leaning into HIDING in HIM!> > praise Jesus for your life
and the hard stuff and the easy... going through> this i pray will continue
to awaken you to your need for Him, a desperate> one at that, even in the
pleasant times because you remember where you> really stand when all is
stripped totally. That's what GOD operates out of:> totally unashamed
barenakedness yet covered in Him alone.Total dependence> for everything... HE
is the vine and you are the branch! Yay! I see he has> "finally" -goh- come
after you!> > i love you

She responded:

that is it. He's got me to a place where I feel SO
uncomfortable.exposed even. and it FEELS like I'm walking on the edge of a cliff
attimes and I don't even know (symbollically) how to call for help. It'slike I
don't even know how to pray anymore. I'm completely disabled.But the Lord in His
faithfulness reminded me that "the Spirit alsohelps in our weaknesses. For we do
not know what we should pray for aswe ought, but the Spirit Himself makes
intercession for us withgroanings which cannot be uttered...He makes
intercession for thesaints according to the will of God." It is totally NOT up
to me towalk by the Spirit. Later in the chapter, Paul says that if the Spiritof
Christ is in me, then my body is dead because of sin, but theSpirit is life
because of righteousness. It's a matter of walking byFAITH to know that even
though (like in Romans 7) I don't understandwhat I do, for "what I will to do,
that I do not practice; but what Ihate, that I do." This is my heart: "For I
DELIGHT in the law of Godaccording to the inward man. But I see another law in
my members,warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity
tothe law of sin which is in my members"...He will deliver me!! I'm justgonna
have to trust that HE is in charge of the LIFE of CHRIST withinme and that I'm
just a partaker in this life. I give up. It's sostrange and boy does it ever
keep getting stranger - but I give up forthe rest of my life. you can definitely
say that my relationship andmy walk with the Lord is a unique one - definitely
not what I sawcoming. ha! but I will trust taht He is bringing me to a place
that isimpossible to get to without going this road. i will trust. i
willtrust.love you more

sarah kelly- an edgy singer who is definitely surrendered to the life of Father - almost pleading for Him to move her and in her... some lyrics that go exactly with the previous post and is the anthem for the day:

I choose to trust you even through the fire
Even when my eyes can’t see, yes, I know you’re right beside me
And I will always praise you Lord
No matter what may come
Because you are always faithful to me

So I will dream and I believe that what you’ve promised soon I will see
Soon I will see

It’s just a matter of time til I see your face, til I dance in your presence, and sing of your grace
It’s just a matter of time til I hear you say ‘well done’

I surrender to your will, to your way, to your plan
All I have and all I am… all I am

It’s just a matter of time…

she's on i tunes. she's cool.

but moreso the lyrics are cool... we all know that faith is a choice right? it's being SURE of things HOPED for (not things we already feel or have. . . i think those have already come to pass!). He asks for continuous faith... belief. so many of us say... well i know who I am : righteous, beloved, forgiven, but it's so hard to apply it, to live it. well to that i say "just BELIEVE it!" surrendering the right to feel the truth see the truth or understand it... give Him willing believing heart and He will honor it. yes, the GOSPEL is saving power to those who ARE believing. Present tense. ha.... It has no power for those who once believed or who plan on believing later.

The Gospel is so cool... just when you think you are in the depths of misery, loneliness, uncertainty... he covers you. and covers you, and covers you. Because HE can! HE wants to lift us out and we can never lift ourselves out in the way that He does. Just when I think I am a miserable unlovable person and almost start to claim that he speaks truth over me. and covers me with amazing Grace and enables me to continue this road.

By faith alone... all things experienced here are but a shadow of what is really to come! Praise the Lord that it's only a matter of time (time is a small thing in God's economy: he is not bound by it!) til we see Him and hear "well done" wow. it makes me wanna slow down and hear from Him now: "what would you have me do Lord!?"

i highly recommend going to 268generation.com and listening to louie's grace series. i just listened to the second talk in the series. He talks about how it's so easy to take the easy way through life but you miss out on the reward... the eternal one that is. what a joy it will be to throw down our crown at the feet of our Jesus- He has given us the grace to do things anyway. I think we become so comfortable with 'who we are' in Christ that the word 'do' scares us.

I pray that I understand grace even more so that it makes me an active believer who definitely yields to Christ since He wants to do life for me, and my heart motive is not to earn status or recognition, my motive is a 'want to' not necessarily for Christ or for a certain end(just for a reward or so i'll look good in the kingdom: these are self-centered not Christ centered motives), but because Christ 'wants to' in me. I am sure there's so much he wants to do in an through us to accomplish His eternal purpose:

His people in intimate relationship with Him.

And as we trust him to do this we grow in intimacy with Him. We learn to hear Him clearly and trust Him unashamedly without caution or regret. Our loving Savior is trustworthy you know?!

I got nothing but the grace of God, that is. How often to I look to lesser Gods for my self worth and security only to be disappointed and shake my fist at him... "Why did you allow that God?"

Secure life in Christ is living only in Him. It's seeing things from HIS perspective. And it's only by His grace that I can even begin to see that much: a total gift. Disappointment and discontentedness may last a moment, but HE is consistent and never changing. I have to prech that to myself constantly.

The same God who delivered me out of those lies, that bondage, that desperation is with me today and is more than capable of giving that if only I will receive it... *note to self: yes, Grace is still a free gift!

Could it be that things aren't as we hoped so that He can show himself to be true hope?
Could it be that he keeps us from feeling the truth until we will simply believe it by faith and not feeling?
Could I be an idiot for thinking that the more tangible thing is the real thing?
Possibly so... and now there is a choice to be made:
To believe or not to believe: that's the question.
Not only am I a woman of grace but one of truth. Grace without truth is a license to throw grace on the back burner and live for myself. Grace with truth, walking in truth and REALITY of HIM and His life- is true freedom: Freedom to be who he created me to be and to enjoy Him in each moment. No longer a slave to lies, disappointment, and discontentment.
*note to self: You, my friend, are HIS. Nothing less.

i have a cool new alarm clock i got for my b'day from dear ol' dad... it's an ipod alarm clock where the ipod charges all night and you can wake up to your choice of music. i have mine set on shuffle and this morning i got to listen to a john piper sermon on worship. he said 'are you worshipping God so to can get the blessing? It's as if you are you are saying " i don't want you God, i want the thing!'

hmmm so obvious but so subtle in life. i so often ask so much of Him but He continues to humble me. That in and of itself is amazing. How HE (not even me humbling myself, but HE... and I acknowledge and yield to it) humbles me in HIS sovereign grace. And Christ IN me gives me the power to say 'yes'.

He is the end all beat all above all of all things. HE. Father. God! It's all about Him and His glory and when I stop and think that I wanted the 'thing' I am blown away because He is so much greater. Why would I even worship that?

Lord I confess to you that I struggle with wanting things more than You! I declare today with my lips that NOTHING compares to you! You are bigger than time or space or anything my finite mind can conjure up. Not only that, but you are more glorious and beautiful and powerful and magnificent than words can describe. You are greater than words and I'll stop now that I may sit in your presense, declaring you are King of All.

why didn't anyone tell me about this season of life? i know i am not the only one b/c i am hearing it from the many of us who are in our twenties: where am i and what in the heck am i doing? i believe it was rachel who said it best when she said 'post college is the new middle school' i would even say it's worse. better in some ways (like, there aren't as many mean people i dont think, orrr... the mean people are just really good at it and they just deceive you instead) but worse in others (like you don't have the luxury of your life decisions being crystal clear... the obvious answer to "what will i do after 7th grade?" is always oh, I will go on to 8th, if i dont pass i will just try again! life is simple" . yikes. who can you trust to tell you the next step in this crazy world? i am tired of hearing 'get ahead' 'plan for the future' 'you have to achieve, work harder, beat everyone else out' is that really what we want?

we (yes me, mer, and jared) went to see crash tonight at the dolla' theater (and yes, i am campaigning for adoption by this precious couple). it was somewhat disturbing to see corruption and murder and all that comes with it, but like i've said before, those things are only symptoms of deeper issues. sandra bullock's character realized that it was not her stolen car that made her angry, but she had actually been angry for years and doesn't know why. (and anger itself is always a symptom of a deeper hurt or fear, right?).

it's amazing how feelings can take such a toll on you. enought 'feeling' can bring physical pain, emotional pain, and spiritual pain... it's amazing how that movie just stirred me up in a way that would bring some of my own issues to the surface. sometimes that's just what it takes. my mentor from the summer who is a kindred spirit of mine in the way of how we deal emotionally would always talk about how important it is to get 'em out... and if it takes a sad movie or song to do so, go for it. offer those up to the Lord, and receive the exchange. hm. i feel like i have been making more exchanges lately than ever before. joy for mourning. beauty for ashes. and more...

the world around us so often dictates and requires that we feel and act a certain way- asking for uniformity and conformity for some reason: just the opposite of what i believe God wants- We are reflections of His life and He has innumerable qualities and characteristics, feelings and desires.... so he made us in His image to let those out. Yet we live in the box the world throws around us, binding us and leaving us to e another face in the crowd. Then we buy the lie that God sees us as another face in the crowd too. Thank goodness He is totally 100% NOT that way!

We all have heard Psalm 139 a billion times (especially if you are a girl...) but I choose to receive life from this psalm because I need to know I am special, I need to know I am significant, and I need to know I am somebody. Resting in Christ meets these needs by faith while the world preaches the opposite. My prayer is that HE is the reality of our lives. This world and the forces of worldly thinking rushing all around us and, lets be honest, sometimes captivate us for some reason to think that this tangible touchable stuff is what it's all about is but a shadow, and breath, and it will be insignificant in the blink of an eye. He will still be because he was and is and is to come.

So what's MY reality today? Well that God is sovereign and the source of all things- MY reality is that my circumstances cannot change my joy and feelings for " 2It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out. 3As the heavens for height, and the earth for depth, so the heart of kings is unsearchable. 4Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel; 5take away the wicked from the presence of the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness. " (Prov. 25) If i want to be or not I am still a part of the bigger masterpiece that He is orchestrating.

-I can rest because if He wanted me to have a family to come home to, He would give them, but he wants me in a strange city that's big and kinda scary that I may know Him more intimately. -I can rest because if He wanted me to have friends that are walking this road right beside me he would provide them but for now it's my job to know Him more intimately and He is keeping me to it.
-I can rest because if He wanted me feeling comfortable, safe, and floating around in a pleasant happy time He would orchestrate that, but He has allowed this new transition phase that I might be displeased with the temporary highs of the world for the sake of knowing Him in a raw and real way. He's the adventure.

HE


is Life.


all other things will fade, but HE who is not bound by space or time and is an inconceivable being who somehow had baptized us into His life and shares it with us now is here, intimately connected with us by faith. the spiritual me is the real me, and what a mystery that truly is... "2It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out." Good thing it's about His glory and not ours. Good thing He has the upper hand in being the creator and orchestrator of all, leaving us desperately depending on Him for every need.

go to merediths blog... it basically explains my life lately: somewhat slow and boring but at least we have each other!!!

http://meredithjsmith.blogspot.com/2005/09/star-struck-in-bham.html

i knew the Lord would use this next year to make real the things i learned this summer. this is so fun to record my personal examples as he solidifies what's really important.

i really enjoy the phrase "it's all gonna burn". I often use it when i stop and realize i am worrying about something ridiculous or i am in an uncomfortable situation, but really what exactly IS gonna burn? material stuff? sure. but what else? i would venture to say the motives of our hearts. things done not trusting the life of Christ to do it through us/things done in our own strength/taking credit for the fruit of our own lives is something that is of "wood, hay, and stubble" as KJV says opposed to life in the Spirit, which is compared to gold!

and isn't it cool what he does in our lives, like Job said: "10But He knows the way that I take [He has concern for it, appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminous]." It's part of that beautiful sanctification. It's His job to heat up that gold, testing it and purifying it when He skims off the dross... little by little the impurities are removed.

Acknowledging an all powerful God and that the results are His is foundational to understanding His economy:
in the Spirit= tapping into the Life within us.
Living in Eternity today: He IS eternal life, He IS the only being that is eternal and we share in that today! We were baptized into His life at the moment when we placed our faith in Him. This is so central to understanding that real life (life that lasts and stands all tests) is solely in Christ Jesus.

1 Cor 3 says it better than I could:

7So neither he who plants is anything nor he who waters, but [only] God Who makes it grow and become greater. 8He who plants and he who waters are equal (one in aim, of the same importance and esteem), yet each shall receive his own reward (wages), according to his own labor.
9For we are fellow workmen (joint promoters, laborers together) with and for God; you are God's [b]garden and vineyard and field under cultivation, [you are] God's building.(A)
10According to the grace (the special endowment for my task) of God bestowed on me, like a skillful architect and master builder I laid [the] foundation, and now another [man] is building upon it. But let each [man] be careful how he builds upon it,
11For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is [already] laid, which is Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).
12But if anyone builds upon the Foundation, whether it be with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw,
13The work of each [one] will become [plainly, openly] known (shown for what it is); for the day [of Christ] will disclose and declare it, because it will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test and critically appraise the character and worth of the work each person has done.
14If the work which any person has built on this Foundation [any product of his efforts whatever] survives [this test], he will get his reward.
15But if any person's work is burned up [under the test], he will suffer the loss [of it all, losing his reward], though he himself will be saved, but only as [one who has passed] through fire.(B)
16Do you not discern and understand that you [the whole church at Corinth] are God's temple (His sanctuary), and that God's Spirit has His permanent dwelling in you [to be at home in you, [c]collectively as a church and also individually]?
17If anyone [d]does hurt to God's temple or corrupts it [[e]with false doctrines] or destroys it, God will [f]do hurt to him and bring him to the corruption of death and destroy him. For the temple of God is holy (sacred to Him) and that [temple] you [[g]the believing church and its individual believers] are.
18Let no person deceive himself. If anyone among you supposes that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool [let him discard his worldly discernment and recognize himself as dull, stupid, and foolish, without true learning and scholarship], that he may become [really] wise.(C)
19For this world's wisdom is foolishness (absurdity and stupidity) with God, for it is written, He lays hold of the wise in their [own] craftiness;(D)
20And again, The Lord knows the thoughts and reasonings of the [humanly] wise and recognizes how futile they are.(E)
21So let no one exult proudly concerning men [boasting of having this or that man as a leader], for all things are yours,
22Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas (Peter), or the universe or life or death, or the immediate and [h]threatening present or the [subsequent and uncertain] future--all are yours,
23And you are Christ's, and Christ is God's.

This beautiful passage not only clarifies WHO you are (a temple, Christ's, God's, sacred, the dwelling place of God's spirit) but also How to live- He states it clearly that the world's wisdom is foolishness, haha, absurdity and stupidity. The world looks for results, and God looks at the heart. Only He can see the true motives. Lord in your mercy, make me a fool so I can see things from your perspective!

I think it's so easy to be critical. I know I often am for one reason or another: feeding my self worth (using my own twisted ways to find value) instead of receiving Christ's worth mainly, but He is so faithful to gently remind me that HE alone sees the heart. I definitely don't have that power...ha, there is only ONE God...

I was at a worship service tonight and the world would probably rate it "fair" or "so-so" because the guy with the guitar messed up a decent amoutn. I even said myself that 'he got carried away" (God I confess this to you) but God does not see it that way! It's so frustrating to us b/c we have been molded too long to the world who is always looking for perfection, but I sensed the Lord saying "I know this man's heart" which He does (1 samuel 16:7) and boy this guy was worshipping with all he had for sure. A humble heart should lead me more than a perfect performance. And a humble worshipper who chooses to do so in Spirit and in Truth is precious in the sight of God: precious as gold, that is! The analyzing critical spirit is most likely not done in Christ. There is one who has said that this is 'leadership" and I concur to a degree. But if it is to the point that we are missing HIM, then possibly we've missed the point.

See, God calls this "success" if this guy is yielded to Him and trusting Him to live his Life through his being. THAT is God's economy. Christ has already paid the price for the unbelief of the one who acts in His own strength while leading worship or preaching a sermon. If it was the perfect performance but of a man trusting in self God says 'failure' and that performance will burn up and the foolish worlds says "great! what beautiful sound" Boy can we be foolish and miss the heart of it all... If God wanted it to look fantastic He would let it be so. Is He not an all-powerful God? Does he not rule the world as we know it? I believe he DOES. In light of eternity and knowing Him, what is more important? The outside appearance or the heart? I pray i will not take this question lightly as Paul asks: (yes I'm repeating for emphasis)

16Do you not discern and understand that you [the whole church at Corinth] are God's temple (His sanctuary), and that God's Spirit has His permanent dwelling in you [to be at home in you, [a]collectively as a church and also individually]?

And it's only by His GRACE that I get to be a part of something so much bigger than me: of Christ's life, living in and through me. True life is yielding to Him as His spirit works through your "temple" as you surrender your ideas and motives to His. Totally. 100%.

Thank you Lord that if you wanted to move mountains, you would. And thank you for not moving them that we may choose to trust you more and you in your grace cause us to have to trust in that which we cannot see, finding a deeper trust and dependence than ever before. Thank you for all you do to sanctify us and ultimately to be intimate with us. All things are from you, and I want to receive them as such. Thank You Father.

thought for the day:
from Problems, God's Presense, and Prayer by Michael Wells:

It talks about how problems are God's tools to bring us to intimacy with himself:"God has a funnel, in a manner of speaking, that allows Him to take you (a very small creature) out of the masses of humanity and place you exactly where He wants you. If you could examine it, you would find that God's funnel is made up of various problems: contrary people, events,circumstances, vexing church situations, financial pressures, failures,thoughts, dysfunctional marriages, poor health, and trying family situations to name a few. All these problems are calculated to pressure you , the believer, farther and farther into the narrow way that leads to the very presence of God,where problems will no longer be a concern, but prayer, joy, and praise will be the course of the day."

Wow! He allows these things to come ultimately so that He will be ourexistence and reality. It's not about fixing problems but running to and resting in HIM! In light of this, can't you see how HE is responsible for molding and shaping us? We just have to say yes. Things are gonna happen either way- so we can either let them do what they were intended to do or ignore it and focus on our problems instead of Him. We can either fight the funnel or give up and surrender to it, knowing He is sovereign and totally loving.

"Accepting with joy and thankfulness where we are today as coming from the hand of a loving God, who knows exactly what we need, allows us to find peace."Praise Jesus! I pray we can all walk in the truth and we have the person ofpeace LIVING in and through us as we abide in the Spirit by faith in Him and not ourselves. He is our peace! He IS peace.

We think life is so complicated, but I think it's only because we are deceived. We weren't designed to focus on circumstances or other humans. We were made to be in relationship with a perfect Father, totally dependent on His resources and not our own. Usually the turmoil we experience is merely a loss of focus. The turmoil is a symptom of believing the lie that "I can be my own God" so we stop. Then we tune in to the gentle whisper. He says "Come, return to me, I love you, I want you, I desire you" and we respond: " I need you! I am helpless, You are faithful! I receive what you have because I know you are in control, and I am not. YOU are all I need" and then He gives us just what we need, proving the searching and misfocus never works, but He alone is sufficient.

He is steadfast, never changing. It's so simple. It never ceases to amaze me how I have to be reminded often but every homecoming is the same: Like the prodigal I return, humbled at my own mistakes and misconceptions and He kindly runs to me overjoyed to see me again! I merely had to just face Him and he RUNS! What a wonderful father. He knew I would be back I think.

Why do we focus so much on worldly things? They are temporary! The Spiritual is eternal- that's where our inheritance is! It's available today and too good to be true... "If it's too good to be true, it just might be the GOSPEL!"

How am i sooo lucky to have met Him?
Who am I to know the King of Kings?
What was He thinking when He united my spirit with His for eternity?
It's a beautiful mystery.

Brennan Manning says it so clearly: (from The Rabbi's Heartbeat)

"To feel safe is to stop living in my head and sink down into my heart
and feel liked and accepted...not having to hide anymore and distract myself
with books, television, movies, ice cream, shallow conversation...staying in the
present moment and not escaping into the past or projecting into the future,
alert and attentive to the now...feeling relaxed and not nervous or jittery...no
need to impress or dazzle others or draw attention to myself...Unselfconscious, a
new way of being with myself, a new way of being in the world...calm, unafraid,
no anxiety about what's going to happen next...loved and valued...just being
together as an end in itself.

Father God, thank you for calling to me when I am hiding from You and
everyone else, including myself Thank you that when I was matted and muddy
with sin You loved me and looked for me to return home. Thank you for
giving me a safe place within the unconditional love of Christ. Amen"

I cant wait to read this book... this man has an incredible grasp on the heart of Jesus and know Him! Don't you see there's more than just knowing about him? He wants us to know Him and his LOVE for us... for you and me in own own unique way we like to be loved. He is able to do that if we'll only receive it to ourselves... Jesus is incredible.

Just when I think it's a plain old day, the Holy Spirit reminds me HE is here. I am in the presense of the living God. I hear Him in the gentle whisper and He stirs my soul. He makes the slow day and majestic one. He is faithful to show His infinite beauty and power which makes me feel significant and beatiful all the same because of this big God who is 'mindful' of me! I have truly enjoyed knowing Him here inside me and in this present moment. O the brink of a new life, new surroundings, new people, new job... on the brink of major feelings of unknowing and unsure-ness (i know these are not words but they fit for now-) in fact, we can never know what's around the corner, but I really have no clue, so I start this new chapter with a heart that's in need of Him as EVERYTHING else is changing- some that I thought would be one way are another- all the more evidence that things are in His hands and His ways and not mine. I am so glad to be in His presense today, full of a deep seated joy when the surface and circumstances try to convince me I am scared and hurt and losing all, the Spirit reminds me of my inheritance: power, victory, pleasure, joy and all I need for life and godliness. I don't need the other things but I sure do need Him. Only Him. And His inifinite value makes me fall and worship. What else can I do- without Him I am dead, with Him i am fully ALIVE! Oh, he is so worth pursuing. Quiet your heart and your day, deep in your soul, and hear Him speak to your spirit: " I love you, I make you whole and complete, I am passionate for you and especially YOU"

so it's a couple of days until i shed my fort mill, sc address. and i will have to shed my auburn address as well since my bank and credit card folks think i still live in sweet sweet sterling. those were the days. it's amazing how time flies and how the 'next step' comes regardless of if we are ready or not. yet here i am... packing up and heading out to embark... i think life is always embarking actually. it's a journey and you can never possibly know exactly where you're going. only God knows and everything could change in an instant. but you know what doesn't change? your position in Christ. That will always be the same. You will be resting in Christ at the right hand of the Father. It's true and it's now. That's why we can endure the journey and walk the path that we can hardly see but a couple feet in front of us. I might have said this before, but I still get such a picture of how God leads us through a lyric from Sarah Kelley's "faithful Father" where she says "i feel the heat of your lamp on my feet, guiding my way. why do i worry why do i worry about tomorrow, when you hold the future in your hands"
Psalm 43:3-5 is a prayer of mine (the implications are many):
Send out your light and your truth let them lead me;(Jesus IS the light and truth and he is already in us. When He brings light in our lives he exposed the darkness. and TRUTH sets you FREE! How else will we be free to live and be lead by Christ's life if we don't know the truth of who he is and who we are)
let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! (Yes! Praise Jesus - He is the ONE who leads us to the inner courts- he has torn the curtain to bring us into the Holy of Holies any time we want- anytime- we can focus in on our Spirit in Union with His in the core of our being- wow. we ARE the temple of God)
Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy,(amen, this is the only place to receive and find joy: in your Union with Him)
and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.
Why are you cast down, O my soul (Remember, your soul includes your mind will and emotions but you no longer live out of your own thoughts but they are TRANSFORMED by the live Spirit inside of you- Live out of your spirit and "rain on" those feelings!),
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation (WHOLENESS)
and my God.(He is only yours! Claim Him as Your God- your great need-meeter!)

Praise Jesus for Life that exists in Him. He loves you and me more than we'll ever ever know. Believe it and receive it moment my moment and your life will be transformed.

Psalm 8
1 O LORD, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens! 2 Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, Because of Your enemies, That You may silence the enemy and the avenger. 3 When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained, 4 What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? (Other versions say care for..., I have heard it meant 'in an intimate way' in greek) 5 For You have made him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor. 6 You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet, 7 All sheep and oxen— Even the beasts of the field, 8 The birds of the air, And the fish of the sea That pass through the paths of the seas. 9 O LORD, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth! (picture from somewhere on the blue ridge parkway)

Let us not forsake what creation does: It leaves us in awe of God's greatness, His power, His creativity (we see that in creation and the different people we know!) But what about the heart issues? The unseen? Well looking at creation and then seeing that he made us for the heart issues: He made us to receive the side of Him that is not so much tangible but yet so very REAL. His grace expressed to us in Love. Truly - how can God who made (formed and fashioned by His own will) the universe relate intimately with us? What is man? Who am I that you would care for or VISIT me?? Who am I that you dwell inside of me (someone that big and powerful finds me significant enough to give Himself for me) and use all that you have made in creation to point to yourself so I can believe that you are God and you delight in me?! You want to know me!? Oh wait, you already to know all about me. You knew it all: That I would doubt, that I would worship idols, that I would fail and you still chose me so you could love me (Eph. 2:4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.), in big and little ways.

I like how You're a God details: thanks for the wildflowers and walking with me on the side of the mountain and making me feel pretty...and calling me beautiful. Thanks Dad. You're all I need.

The Lord has continued to solidify in me what He has been writing on my heart all along. I think a big key is realizing that the Spiritual Me is the real me. I know I am transformed for sure but it's hard to tell of a before and after. Why? Because I have been this person all along... ever since my day of salvation-before the foundations of time I was accepted in the beloved! It's who I am! Regardless of how I feel (which its been amazing to see the emotional healing He's brought me to) the Truth is what God says. When I stand on that and ask Him for His perspective (what do YOU think about this Lord) He tells me and I receive it. Even if it's too good to be true. So the truths of the Spirit are more real than anything here on earth. The things of the Lord are Eternal and we can participate in that now, seeing that we are truly seated at the right hand of the Father (RESTING) in Christ. You may feel like things are chaotic or confusing but then the devil has you: He's eating your lunch (stealing the joy that's yours in Christ) because he's got you wrapped up in the world and worldly things. God wants to give us HIS perspective. He wants us totally dependent on Him because HE made us for that! That's HIS design! Our purpose is to know Him intimately and how great is that when He does it (as always) by GIVING. Our job is only to RECEIVE, even if it's too good to be true we get to receive from an overflow of unconditional, no-matter-what-you-did/didn't-do LOVE!
amen and amen

<-- even this girl know's she's accepted in the beloved, buck teeth and everything, and secure and worth everything to Father. God love 'er...

Are you living out of your IDENTITY in Christ or on your old thought patterns?
Wanna know how to transform your mind? Put on Christ! He has given you a new heart (Ez. 36:26) that's alive to God. You are no longer a slave to sin. You are a slave to RIGHTEOUSNESS: that's your nature... your identity.

Jack Taylor said something to the effect of this: being weak in your mind makes the truths of your identity precious. Oh wow, how the Lord has made this truth to me! The more I surrender what I think about things and ask the Lord to reveal the reality of the gospel... well, HE does it! The truth of who I am in Christ sets me free. One thing that gets me a lot is a judgemental mindframe, but the more I recognize that I am totally accepted in Christ the more I no longer have to think of ways to form my own sense of worth...ultimately by belittling others! YUCK! He has given me total worth and acceptance and I know longer have to live out of my mind. I live out of my Spirit... my identity... and then my mind is transformed by that. Then, when a judgemental thought comes "I am so much more intimate with God than she is" I can take it captive: because the word says that we are not to judge and that we are ALL accepted not by what we do... and God sees the heart (I know I cannot) and ultimately because I am a child of God, and a righteous one at that. So since a righteous person does not think like that, then who's thought was that? Not mine! I refuse to take that as my own and reject this lie; Knowing that "she" is loved and accepted without condition. Knowing that none of us can get any closer or intimate with God that we already are, that thought is a lie, and I refuse to puff my own opinion up of myself (thinking i'm 'better than') to feel good. That's a cheap quick fix. Father offers wholeness and love regardless of my understanding of it or not! Praise God- I am not a judgemental person but a loving person in Christ.

So how am I livin? Well, we are similar to a temple on the old testament days. Looking from the outside you can see the walls (like our physical body: plain to the eye) and the outer courts- what makes up our body or our "members" then comes the Holy Place (this is like our soul: our mind will and emotions and what we operated out of before Christ gave us His life. This part is being progressively renewed to truth and changed/sanctified) and the innermost part is the Holy of Holies, separated by a curtain or veil where the Lord resides (this is like our Spirit- where we receive our identity at salvation).

The problem is when we were born our spirit was dead to God- we had no other option but to live out of the soul (out of the strength of our minds and how we perceived the world from day one- as twisted as that view may be). We use logic and our own will to make life work.

Once we become saved our spirit is reborn (we are a new creation) and we now have Christ as our source. We no longer have to figure out life on our own! He is all sufficient! The sad thing is we had become so comfortable living in and out of our mind we don't realize the freedom that's behind that curtain. Christ, the High priest, actually came to tear that curtain and invite us to intimacy/union/oneness with Him. But our free will (he's not gonna force us to love him or seek him) may continue to live/find life out of the mind. Thank goodness he is faithful to break us, to bring us to dependence on Him where we see that the mind is not sufficient but he is all sufficient. (Some it may take longer than others, sadly b/c some of us are really good at using our own thinking.)

Good news: He has torn down the barrier by totally paying the price for our sin (no debts owed by you or me) and giving us His life (residing in our spirit: our own Holy of Holies) and renewing our mind to the truth of our identity. THEN our mind is transformed and we live life out of the Spirit... the truths of our identity penetrate our thinking and we can surrender to HIM, knowing that just when I can't figure it out on my own, He is enough and He gives me His perspective--His godly wisdom, and Christ is my ultimate focus. He has given me all I need in Him. My TRUE identity. My TRUE nature.

Progressively, my thinking becomes more in line with His, more often my feelings line of with the truth and I stand changed: More like Christ, in whom Father finds great delight- living in His rest and peace and enjoying eternity today. What a gift the gospel is! Who else but God could give a heart message that changes you daily, frees you daily, and ultimately LOVES you daily and meeds every need in Christ Jesus?!!

It never ceases to amaze me how central the gospel truly is. I have said it many times before and I will continue to say that Jesus is the answer to everything. Want wisdom (which I believe is not a matter of 'what' but of 'who') ? Ask God- He will give you His perspective. It's amazing how free you can become if you will just tap into Christ in you (yep, you have the mind of Christ). He have EVERYTHING you need for life and godliness.
For life? Really?
Yep- Again, the gospel applies to ev-er-y-thing.
Relationship problems?
Take it to the gospel. It is so freeing to myself and those I come in contact with when I see them as God sees them... and when I see myself and God sees me: unconditionally accepted, not defined by my behavior in the flesh but in my new identity in Christ. Example: So if this person is treating me in an unloving way or I don't feel their love I take it to God...

"God how do you see this person?"
"Well Katie, I see him as loving because in Christ he IS loving. That's how I see him: for who he is. I accept him as my beloved child and nothing he can do can change that. I know his heart and I have not made you where you can see his heart, that's my job. Leave his behavior up to me and love him. Accept him. I have paid the price for all that he has done against you on the cross, therefore the behavior is irrelevant to complete and total acceptance. Love him like I have loved you, forgive him and accept him just as I have done for you."

If I follow Father's advice I am freed up in many ways:
I don't have to control this person or make them love me. I free them up to love me out of their fullness in Christ since I do not put standards or law on them by judging them (judging them in my heart or outwardly to their face is the same thing). I have a relationship where I am free to be myself because I am not worried about being rejected myself because I know who I am: Accepted and totally loved and in the beloved. I don't need this persons love although it is icing on the cake: It can be an affirmation and intensification of what I already know and have actually received from Christ alone but it can never replace it. Christ alone is enough.

True acceptance is from Christ: NOT Christ + others or Christ + acceptance of myself +others
it's HIM. And as He reveals this more and more to me, the more my freedom increases because regardless of what happens or what my circumstances my indicate (rejection, failure, etc) I stand accepted totally by a Holy Father who loves me with a depth that no man can touch. THAT is enough.